Arresting Developments in New Jersey
We’ve all been told from a very early age that breaking the law can get you in trouble. Get caught stealing from a store and you will be arrested. Punch someone in the face in the street and you will be put away. Sell pot near a school and you’ll be fitted for a nice new pair of handcuffs. Handing a note to a bank teller while wearing a rubber mask will sound the alarm for sure. Bring a machine gun onto the bus and people will rat on you. Hurl a brick at a policeman and you will be severely punished. Walk into church playing hackey sack in the nude and just see what happens. (Damn, the last time I tried that, Sister Mary Margaret reached out and confiscated the wrong ball.)
But guess what my fine brothers of the grand leafiness… Smoke a cigar in Denville, New Jersey and yes, you will be imprisoned.
WTF you talkin’ ‘bout, Willis?
Like so many other small town USA’s, Denville, NJ has adopted strict smoking laws in outdoor areas – you know outdoors – where are there billions of square feet of open air for smoke to dissipate, including hundreds of miles straight up. You know, where garbage trucks, busses, and cars emit carbon dioxide and pump other toxic waste into the air we breathe by the mega-gallon. Get caught smoking on public side walks, parks, play grounds, parking lots, yada, yada yada, and first time offenders will receive a fine of a $100 or up to two days of community service. Now… second-time offenders could face a $250 fine or five days of picking up garbage along side county inmates in their flaming orange jumpsuits. But get caught a third time? You ready for this one, people? The new ordinance passed in a 7-0 town council meeting states that a third time smoking offense in public can garner you ten days of community do-gooderness, and for real – I’m not kidding here… A trip to the slammer! That’s right, you will be arrested, place in cuffs, put into a squad car, taken downtown, get booked and thrown into jail… for smoking.
Hellooooooooo… people of Denville… Stalin is calling and he wants his hammer and sickle back.
What I find terribly disconcerting is that a town council in local suburbia has wielded the power of incarcerating a person for an act that is and always has been legal. I repeat, it is not an illegal act to enjoy a cigar in public, yet this group of self-righteous demi-gods has deemed it a crime who’s punishment is the same as the acts I stated in the first paragraph. (And if you ask me, it was that damned nun who was totally out of line. Hey, I was emotionally scared and it’s hard to let this one go.)
I’m at a loss here and I’m sure it is the same for you too, that the politico climate in this country is producing such outrageous acts of socialist and communist extremism. I know I sound like a broken record, but damn people, this isn’t really about smoking… it is about the stripping away of our freedoms in a country where men laid down their lives for the pursuit of this freedom. I just spent a week in Williamsburg, Virginia and learned a great deal about the people who fought tyranny and repressive laws in order to enjoy the fruits of life. Patrick Henry had the stones to stand up and say, “Give me liberty or give me death,” and the guy meant it, no questions asked. Now, while I won’t stand and say, “Give me cigars or give me death,” I will continue to make a public stink about these draconian laws instituted by incredibly small minds.
A couple of years ago it started with the town of Belmont, California, who deemed it illegal to smoke in public. One of the councilmen, a local-yocal, small time, business goon actually said something to the effect of, “Can you imagine the lives that could be saved with this law?” I just completely lost it when I read his comments. YOU?… You want to save ME from MYSELF? Holy tobacco beetles, Batman, the world has tipped on its axis and the shit is running downstream at an alarming rate.
So what’s the answer? I say total raging anarchy, tea party times ten. We have to make noise and we have to get ugly. Unfortunately, it will probably take a group of us dumb-asses to go to alert the media, visit Denville three days in a row, stoke up our stogies and get tossed into the can. Although I’m not keen on having a record, it does seem like something that would get noticed, don’t you think? Say, who’s with me? Who are the men and who are the mice in this bunch?! To the parapets men, we have not yet begun to fight! (yeah, so I borrowed that one… it’s not like the dude is going to sue me.)
Okay, I know I’m babbling on, here, but this is serious, because as always, the logical question to ask is… WHAT’S NEXT? What will they tax next? What will they take away next? A lot of people read this blog and a lot of us can make some noise. We ARE sick and tired of this and we’re NOT going to take it anymore? Right comrades? Oops, socialist slip.
Til Next Time, My Brothers,
Tommy Z.
JR Cigars Blog With the Zman
July 26th, 2010 at 4:03 am
hey fatboy, i am fighting the man out here in kalifornia….
or as i look at it, so many assholes, so little time…
July 26th, 2010 at 4:34 am
After you get arrested, Zman, let us know how much you enjoyed getting corn holed while you were in the clink. And if they let you enjoy a smoke afterwards.
July 26th, 2010 at 4:36 am
We’ll all be supporting you in spirit. From a safe distance, of course. And sending you soap on a rope. LMAO!!!
July 26th, 2010 at 4:37 am
And you should write to the editorial page of your local newspaper. Tell them how wrong this law is. I’m sure that they will support your cause in every way.
July 26th, 2010 at 4:38 am
And can you send me all of your ‘gars, since you probably won’t need them in jail? I’ll take good care of them, I promise. Smoke them as if they were my own, you know.
July 26th, 2010 at 4:41 am
The illness is getting progressively worse, people. The only real answer is to put him down.
July 26th, 2010 at 5:21 am
Nah, maduroman is OK in my book.
July 26th, 2010 at 5:21 am
You, I’m not so crazy about.
July 26th, 2010 at 5:23 am
But it still was funny to read about you nearly killing yourself last year by driving your lawnmower off a cliff. I laughed for days about that.
July 26th, 2010 at 7:02 am
This is no laughing matter, just yesterday I was walking the wife with my dog and this women was jogging on the trail coming up behind us,
July 26th, 2010 at 7:10 am
Just like you Z-man, my town is only a couple of miles from Denville. My fear is that some of the surrounding towns may now follow suit. Is there no end to these fu*%ing liberals infringing on our rights? They won’t stop until they put tobacco detectors in our homes. God help us!!!
July 26th, 2010 at 7:11 am
sorry,,,,, anyway I was puffing on a cigar and as the woman was approaching us I realized I knew her, I said hi and the bitch goes hey, I had to hurry up because of your smoke, well she just got knotched down on my likeable list. I can definately see the do gooders ban smoking altogether…..screw em, light up boys…
as we all know just recently the Suprme court ruled in favor of the 2nd Amendment 5-4, we are just one justice away from it being Illegal to own a firearm and if we keep putting these LIBERAL pieces of excrement in office we will surely get there sooner than later. Four justice’s voting against our founding fathers, I can’t even fathom how these losers get through the day…..
July 26th, 2010 at 7:40 am
Go to Denville and light up in protest, Z! We’ll be behind you!…….way, way behind you……
July 26th, 2010 at 7:49 am
Yeah, in friggin Hawaii…
July 26th, 2010 at 9:25 am
Smoking is not PC these days so the Denville dolts figure this will make the town some money. It’s really a tax on personal freedom and another incremental step in the wrong direction. This pisses me off too but so does a lot of crap that government pulls…at all levels. Too much government is an evil thing that gets harder and harder to live under.
July 26th, 2010 at 9:41 am
Absolutely, Bubba. Good post.
July 27th, 2010 at 6:40 am
So how far is Denville from where you live, Z? Maybe you could drive over and stand right on the edge of the city line puffing away with a sign that says, “Come Over to the Good Side, Brothers!”
July 27th, 2010 at 7:03 am
It’s 20 minutes away.
July 27th, 2010 at 1:23 pm
Actually HB there’s an even better “in your face” way to do this. Find out exactly what the law says and how it defines public. Find a private property that belongs to a BOTL that borders a public sidewalk, park or any place that bans smoking. Have a herf on the private property as close to the public as lawfully possible. A bunch of guys legally smoking cigars inches away from where the cops can fine them will probably piss some people off, but it’s also fun.
July 27th, 2010 at 11:41 pm
Maybe one of the herfers could “accidentally” nudge Zman onto a peice of property where smoking is prohibited and then sit back and laugh as the cops use their batons to beat him into submission before they arrest him and drag him off by his hair. That would be great!
July 28th, 2010 at 12:14 am
Sounds to me like Denville should be walled off from the outside world. WTF? No smoking OUTSIDE? Bullsh****t!!!
July 28th, 2010 at 12:48 am
Zman should walk naked down Denville’s main drag, smoking a cigar, and see if he can get arrested.
July 28th, 2010 at 4:34 am
What this about Z walking around in drag?
July 28th, 2010 at 4:47 am
I’d be right there with you Z, but I’m kinda scared to even enter New Jersey. Especially when it’s filled with morons like that!
July 28th, 2010 at 7:27 am
Let’s see, first you have Jersey Shore with a bunch of 20 something morons and now this. Zman it may be time to start thinking about moving to another state. Someplace saner like CA.
July 28th, 2010 at 9:25 am
I like the idea of a herf on the edge of the “zone”. I don’t guess they could do sh*t about someone smoking ON THEIR OWN PROPERTY…
Find the right spot – then get about 100 guys out there, like when there’s some big parade or something passing by on the street. Then, call for the “POWER HERF CONTEST”! 100 sticks being powerherfed would be a beautiful thing. Can you imagine the massive cloud of smoke?? LMAO!!!
July 28th, 2010 at 10:51 am
Cotty, like I said you really have to read the ordinance. I know of one township in MD where you can’t smoke within 100′ of a public park or event. That means that you can normally smoke on your property, but there is a public parade down your street, smoking becomes illegal. Yeah, you can be fined for smoking a cigar in your open air porch on your property if it is within 100′ of a public event.
July 28th, 2010 at 11:39 am
Cotty, maybe the gay pride parade.
July 28th, 2010 at 9:58 pm
Zman is the Grand Marshal this year.
July 28th, 2010 at 9:58 pm
Or as he likes to call himself, “The Fabulous Marshal”.
July 29th, 2010 at 1:05 am
Lou -
Then the herf would have to be moved – 100 feet! And a hundred guys, right at the legal boundary, doing a power herf (upwind of the event) would make a STATEMENT.
July 29th, 2010 at 2:34 am
I say armed with duct taped whiffle bats. we can be a deadly force.
July 29th, 2010 at 6:08 am
Or at least a painful, welt-producing force.
July 30th, 2010 at 7:53 am
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