Tommy Z is a humorist who grew up in the bowels of New Jersey, parented by an eccentric Polish father and a neurotic Italian mother. With that kind of upbringing, what else could this man possibly be other than a humorist? Tom is also a well-known feature writer for Cigar Magazine and other national publications.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this site are strictly those of the Zman. The contents of this site have not been reviewed or approved by JRCigars.com.

Carnivores Amongst Us

Want to know why I like cows so much? Because they’re made of steak. I LOVE steak and I think all REAL men are carnivores to the max. Now grilled steak brings it up a bunch of notches… rib eye, NY strip, porterhouse, t-bone… yeah baby, now we’re talking. Or, you could choose to crank it up a level and do what I did yesterday.

Cow.ChartI wanted to make my 19 year-old daughter, Nicole’s birthday special, so I took a trip to Costco and picked up a three-pound package of filet mignon. That’s one hell of a lotta meat – four humongous steaks that were just begging to hook up with Mr. Weber in my back yard. Actually, my whole family is a bunch of red-meat noshing savages, so spending the extra dough for a great meal was a no-brainer. Now I wasn’t quite done shopping as there was a recipe I always wanted to try – bacon wrapped filet mignon. We all know that EVERYTHING tastes better with bacon and why not take something kick-ass and turn it up a whole bunch of notches… right? Yep.

Bacon.FiletOn the way home, while my wife was discussing side dishes, I started thinking about the delicious cigar I would choose for my post meal smoke, along with the libation of choice. Whoa… steak, booze and cigars… what will they think of next? Damn, the whole thing is a right of passage that every card -carrying Man’s Man needs to partake in, all for the sake of pumping up the testosterone levels for maximum performance (I told the misses she’d better be ready for a post dinner romp. Yeah, I can get all Neanderthal like that.)

bacon_wrapped_filet_mignon01So we get home and it’s time to prepare the kill. The steaks were so fat & huge that I cut them in half for 8 pieces, then wrapped one thick slice of bacon around all sides of each one. As for seasoning, the Food Network chefs always use minimal spices on better cuts of meat to allow the real flavors to come through. So on each side I tossed on some garlic powder, salt and pepper – that’s it… then gave it a spritz of olive oil cooking spray so it wouldn’t stick. I torqued up the grill to 500 degrees and when those bad boys hit the red-hot grates, the symphonic rapture of searing red carcass was music to my Polack ears. I knew the bacon could burn like a mother, so I only cooked each side on the direct flame for a couple of minutes, then turned off the middle burner, cooking them the rest of the way on indirect heat (about 15 to 20 minutes more) until they were a perfect medium rare.Punch-GC-II-mad-single

I don’t know if I’ve made a better grilled steak in my life as the family devoured the charred bovine flesh. The meat was so juicy and tender and the bacon was crispy and smokey – a combination that satisfied the steak-a-saurus in all of us. Hard to believe that we were so stuffed to the gills that one piece of heaven was left – a piece that accompanied my eggs over easy this morning, as the gorge-fest continued.

Now I ask you, what kind of man would ingest such a fine meal without the indulgence of a rich, full-bodied, hand-rolled happy stick created in a Spanish speaking land? The choice was easy… a Punch Grand Cru #2 Maduro (1998) I had purchased from the JR luxury line of opulent smokes that don’t cost a whole lot! I paired it with a coffee and a Taylor 20 year-old tawny port. Holy crap my peeps, if that ain’t livin’ large, I don’t know what the hell else can top it!

Okay, okay, it WAS my little girl’s birthday and she made out damned nice. We sang and ate cake and I felt like a beached whale. But once the stuffed-ness resided, I reminded the wife I still had some manly duties to perform. Hey, you know what they say about testosterone – Use it or lose it!

Have a fantastic week all my pals & fans,

Tommy Z.

JR CIGAR Blog With the Zman

33 Responses to “Carnivores Amongst Us”

  1. Hawaiian Brian Says:

    Sounds delicious, Z! Just yesterday I was telling my girlfriend that one of my fantasies is to just grill all afternoon, smoking cigars and drinking beers, then in the evening enjoy a party with good scotch and even more cigars. Thing was, I was telling her this as I was grilling and smoking a cigar! I guess we guys just can’t get enough of any of those things, huh?

  2. zman Says:

    It’s NEVER enough.

    BTW, you left out nookie.

  3. Hawaiian Brian Says:

    LOL, thanks for the reminder!

  4. Darren_in_Detroit Says:

    I grilled up a beer can chicken yesterday. Man, it was awesome. An hour and ten minutes of that perfectly spiced chicken sitting on a half full can of beer on indirect heat and it was chow time. I had a Bell’s Porter duing the grilling process, a Sam Adams Boston Lager with dinner and after dinner, a few fingers of Glenfiddich paired up with a LaGloria Cubana Wavell in maduro. I was like a marshmallow of mellowness.

    Happy Birthday to Nicole!

    And congrats on the nookie! LOL

  5. maduroman_wcp Says:

    the only thing the tenderloin needed was salt, (kosher), pepper, and a wrap of bacon.

    btw, cows have other parts of em that are just as tastey as steak ya dumb polack… you aint lived until ya sink your teeth into a texas dry rubbed brisket that has been slow cooking for 10-12 hours…

    oh, and happy bday to the young lady too…

    and i doubt if the nookie train made a stop @ the z-man house after because you probably fell asleep…

  6. maduroman_wcp Says:

    afore i forget, a bowl of nice english blend makes just as good after grill treat.

  7. maduroman_wcp Says:

    with 3 fingers of good scotch

  8. roadlizard7 Says:

    Another thing you might try is just McCormick’s Season-all and pepper. Adds a little extra spice, and still contains the salt.

    We have a few supermarkets down here called Rice Epicurean. Most Saturdays, they have meat specials that would blow your mind, such as completely trimmed, whole beef tenderloins for $6.99/lb. You can cut your own 8 oz. (or any other size you want) filets for $3.50 each. Bake some potatoes, steam some fresh asparagus, and you can have a killer steak dinner for the price of a McDonalds quarter pounder meal. Plus, you have more steaks to freeze to enjoy later. A 5 lb tenderloin costs about $35 and yields 9 or 10 nice filets. Or you can pick up some USDA PRIME strips or ribeyes for $12.99/lb.!

  9. roadlizard7 Says:

    Add a bottle of good Cabernet with dinner, then some Balvenie and your choice of cigars afterwards under the stars, and you have a magnificent experience.

  10. roadlizard7 Says:

    BTW, flank steak seasoned and grilled, then cut into 1/4″ thick strips along with some heated flour tortillas makes some awesome fajita tacos al carbon.

  11. Garfiend Says:

    Zman may have cooked steaks for his family, but I heard that he only eats weiners. LMAO!!!!

  12. Garfiend Says:

    And the manly duty that he had to perform was probably putting out the recycling for pick up the next day. LMAO!!!!

  13. Garfiend Says:

    I hope that Zman isn’t going to write blogs about grilling all summer. We need some more excitement than that. Like last year, when he almost killed himself riding his lawn mower off a cliff. That story ruled!!!!

  14. Garfiend Says:

    Maybe this year, he can almost drown in his backyard pool?

    You know that the dumb Polack wouldn’t remember that it was only 4 feet deep and if he just stood up, he’d be fine. LMAO!!!!

  15. zman Says:

    You can always tell the time of month when Garfiend’s Prozac runs out.

  16. Brian W Says:

    You made me hungry Z-man! While I always enjoy a good steak on the grill I also look forward to a thick pork chop grilled to perfection. Come to think of it this weekend I had a great charbroiled chilean sea bass that was awesome. Followed up with a few beers and a Monty White. Pure Heaven!!!

  17. zman Says:

    Heaven is a good place.

  18. roadlizard7 Says:

    Any place with medium rare cow, booze and cigars is pretty much heaven. Of course, boobs would help, too. Kind of perk up the place.

  19. Garfiend Says:

    Not that we ever get to see boobs around here anymore.

  20. Garfiend Says:

    The only boob that we get is the author of this blog. What a gyp.

  21. Garfiend Says:

    I’ll grant you that he’s a very big boob, but he’s not the best lookng boob you’ll ever see.

  22. Garfiend Says:

    Plus, there is only one of him. Oh wait, that’s a good thing in his case. LMAO!!!!

  23. Lou Says:

    Remember, PETA really stands for People Eating Tasty Animals. There’s an old joke about how if god hadn’t wanted us to eat steak, he wouldn’t have made the cows so slow. Ever notice we don’t have BBQ’d cheetah?

    We’ve been watching the Stanley Cup at the homestead so Sunday my son invited some of his friends over and HE cooked on the grill. Ah, the passing of the fire. We use an “old fashioned” charcoal grill. I love the rich smokey flavor that it gives to everything. The kid did good: steaks, chicken legs and corn on the cob. Sort of brought a tear to my eye. During the game he broke out his humidor and everyone had a new CAO La Traviata. Good stick guys.

  24. Garfiend Says:

    Sounds like a good way to spend a Sunday.

  25. zman Says:

    The CAO La Traviata is a GREAT smoke. The best they have right now, in my opinion.

  26. Hawaiian Brian Says:

    Nice story about your kid, Lou. I’m a charcoal guy myself, and if I ever have a son, that’s what I’m teaching him. No knock on gas grills – they are sure as heck convenient and easier when it comes to controlling the heat, but there’s nothing like charcoal.

  27. brian b Says:

    My 10-year-old daughter and I have a camping trip this weekend, and one of the best things about camping is the food. I do it up right! Saturday night is our steak night, complete with sirloins, fresh green beans with garlic, and garlic mashed potatoes.

    Add that to the great outdoors, and your number one, life is mighty fine.

  28. CottyGee Says:

    There’s a “gourmet” grocery store chain that operates here, and among their offerings is prime fillet mignon. $25/lb. I’ve bought ‘em 4-5 times over the past 15 years or so, and they’re always hunks of cow as good as the best fillet in a 5-star restaurant. I’m talkin’ about the 2-inch thick steak you can cut with your fork kinda tender…

    And I’ve got a new recipe. Salt and pepper both sides of the meat and let it rest a while. Kingsford charcoal, and a bunch of chunks of hickory, sized from golf balls to your fist – so you can get a ton of THICK smoke. Light the charcoal first, then put the hickory chunks on top. Then I throw the steaks on the grill and immediately put the cover on. Leave the cover on for 6-8 mins or so, then look. The thing should be swollen on the top. Flip ‘em over and cover for another coupla/few mins and you’ve got steak. And GAWD lemme tell ya that hickory flavor is amazing!

    Happy BDay to daughter Z.

  29. WILD TURKEY Says:

    Making me hungry… for food and smoke!

  30. dodger_fan Says:

    Better be careful, Fiend, I got chewed out by the pollok for saying unkind words about Tom Cruise. Talking smack about the Zman is liable to get you blocked.

  31. Hawaiian Brian Says:

    C0ck blocked?

  32. Garfiend Says:

    Zman would never block a cock. He lets them all in. LMAO!!!!!

  33. CottyGee Says:

    LMAO!!! Lets them all in – through the back door! LMAO!!!!!

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