Buh-Bye, Uncle Fidel – Buh Bye
Nine U.S. presidents couldn’t take him out, and now after 50 years of reign over the people of Cuba, Fidel Castro is finally stepping down as the leader of the small island nation.
At 81 years old. I personally thought that the old boy has been dead for a while and it had been kept a secret from the Cuban people. (But then again I think the tooth fairy is a government conspiracy so take what I say with one big ol’ heaping grain of Morton’s.) During his last bout in the hospital, I believe Castro’s colostomy bag seeped into his system, which should have been lights out for a guy in his eighth decade, but somehow El Presidente has continued to live on. Praise Jaysus, it’s a miracle…si!
The readers of this blog are most interested in how Castro’s resignation particularly affects the world of cigars. The answer always seems to be: it’s hard to say. Brother Raúl now becomes the acting president and has been at Fidel’s side since the beginning of the revolution and no one knows quite sure what his stance are on things since his brother is really the only one who’s allowed to give his thoughts – until now, that is. Plus, Raúl has laid very low over the past six months or so making very few public appearances. According to Wikipedia: Raúl has indicated that a collective leadership would most likely govern Cuba following his brother’s death, through the Communist Party, which is reportedly being strengthened in preparation for such a succession. Most commentators consider Raúl Castro to be a political hardliner who will maintain the Communist Party of Cuba’s political power at all costs. Several commentators, including some authors of The Wall Street Journal, call Castro "uncharismatic and widely feared," with a "cold efficient" style. He is accused of the persecution of dissidents and homosexuals. Additionally, some have speculated about Raúl’s ill health, specifically alcoholism, raising doubts about his future leadership.
Since the late 1700’s the American people have had a love affair with Cuban cigars. But something happened in September of 1960 that changed the cigar industry forever. The following is taken from my article in Cigar Magazine, Spring 2005, entitled: The Cuban Mystique – A defiant, bushy faced rebel named Fidel Castro ordered his khaki-clad henchmen to seize control of all family owned cigar factories in the name of the revolution. The great cigar makes of the day – Cifuentes, Torano, Menendez, Palicio – were forced into exile, leaving their beloved homeland with nothing more than the shirts on their backs. As they settled in places like the Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, Tampa, Miami, Honduras, and the Canary Islands, the new Cuban government was in control of all cigar-making operations. The Cubatobaco firm was created and the nationalization of the Cuban cigar industry had begun.
Over the last four decades even the harshest critics of the Castro regime claim that the cigar is the only thing the Cuban government has done right. How many times while you’re puffing away does some neophyte walk up and ask, “Is that a Cuban?” And if so, it must be a Cohiba? Little do people know that the Famed Cohiba, Cuba’s flagship brand, was created exclusively for Castro in 1966 by his personal roller, Eduardo Rivera. With daily assassination and death threats to his life, Fidel had his very own cigar that was not only guaranteed safe for him, but for the diplomats and foreign dignitaries that he presented his generous gifts of cigars to. It wasn’t until 1982 that the Cohiba was released as a commercial brand to the public – and was the very first “new” cigar release of the post revolution era.
Say or believe what you want but Fidel Castro has been not a nice man or a man for the people. So many from the island 90 miles south of Key West live in terrible poverty, little or no schooling, running water or the basics needed to support a family. During the Mariel Boat lift of 1980, over 125,000 Cuban citizens left their homelands and a life of tyrrany for good to live a life of freedom here in the United States. It was a bold political statement and the people had spoken.
Many have waited what seems forever for El Presidente Castro to head to that great shaded wrapper tent in the sky – without any luck. Fans of Cuban tobacco has long hoped that Castro’s demise would open up U.S. / Cuban relations, allowing the hallowed puros to make their first “legal” appearance into America in 45 years. But with brother Raúl in place, don’t be so sure that anything different will happen at all. Will he reach out to our government? – that remains to be seen. Fidel will tell the Cuban parliament that he will not accept a new term when they meet this coming Sunday. I personally thought he was already dead, but if not, the man is then deathly ill and we will probably hear of his demise very shortly.
So if anyone wants to join the Zman, I will putting together a cigar junket to Havana and establish relations with the new regime asap. While there, besides fine Habannas, I also will consume jugs of rum and an unlimited number of Cuban sandwiches. God almighty, I freakin’ love a good Cuban sandwich! Anyone who wants in just put up a post today and I’ll get you out on the first raft available.
But hey, before we can get there, Genuine Counterfeit Cuban cigars are the answer to your woes! Today I recommend the big-boy, 7 x 52 Churcill size for all your Castro resignation parties. www.jrcigars.com/index.cfm
Happy Monday to all,
Tommy Z.
JR Cigar Blog With the Zman
February 19th, 2008 at 12:00 am
I too have been waiting for the day good ole Fidel went to that “big curing barn in the sky”, or more likely to that hellhole down under, to spend eternity stripping stems from prime wrapper leaves without ever getting to smoke anything.
It’s been almost 50 years since he and the military took over and forever changed an island paradise. Okay, maybe everything wasn’t perfect pre-Castro, but things sure haven’t gotten better under his leadership. He is, however, responsible for the great bounty of cigars now available from the Dominican, Honduras, and Nicaragua, albeit in an indirect way.
Now if we could only have the occasional Cuban cigar to augment that selection, and great Cuban tobaccos to blend with, everything would be better for all of us American BOTL’s.
Here’s hoping that Raul goes a different way, once Fidel is out of the way.
I’ll sure smoke to that!
February 19th, 2008 at 12:00 am
Well Z-Man today’s news out of Cuba is certainly good however I’ve always had visions of the Cuban people rising upand putting Fidel on a raft with a Cohiba shoved up his ass! Oh well. I hope the good people of Cuba can finally enjoy a better standard of living than they had under the bearded prick. Eventually the cigar embargo will be lifted and we’ll all be able to puff cuban cigars legally. But I doubt this will happen anytime soon. Until then let’s enjoy what we have…warm weather has to be on the way!
February 19th, 2008 at 12:00 am
That’s a swell visual – a Cohiba shoved up Castro’s ass while floating on a rusted out 57 Chevy with bus tires tied underneath.
Nice…
February 19th, 2008 at 12:00 am
I hear he is moving to Florida…
I’ll bet Fidel can’t wait to take advantage of the early bird specials in the greater Tampa area.
Rumor has it the Communist Party will be giving him a brand new Grand Marquis as a retirement gift.
February 19th, 2008 at 12:00 am
I’ve read a couple of things on this today. One suggested Raul will not change things much, largely because of the power of the structure of the government below him. Probably, these are the Cuban “fat cats” that have it good under the current system, and there’s no way in hell they wanna give that up.
Short of a coup, I think we’re in for more of the same – certainly until Fidel croaks, and probably until Raul bites the dust, which hopefully is soon. Raul is 75 years old.
I too was in the camp speculating that Fidel was long dead and gone. Guess not. Hopefully, Raul dies soon and a more moderate force of government evolves. A free Cuba is probably a long ways off, but you never know what tomorrow might bring.
Regardless, I don’t expect Cuban cigars to live up to their potential until those grunts in the trenches planting, growing, harvesting, curing and finally rolling our precious sticks aren’t living in poverty and repressed. Until then, I expect inconsistency and sub-par overall results. A disgruntled work force is not the way to producing a quality product. Yeah, I’m in the “Cuban cigars suck ass” camp. Sure, there have been some amazing Habanos I’ve smoked. But there have been far, far, far too many plugged and tight cigars, and far too many sticks that didn’t have the right flavor profile for the brand. Add to that the high price and the potential legal issues, and it just ain’t worth it – especially with such great cigars coming from the rest of the world these days…
JMHO
February 19th, 2008 at 12:00 am
Lets not celebrate yet…this Mother F… is still in command. I will not count this guy out until he’s 6 feet under. Although he has not been seen since October of 2006, it does not mean he is dead.
One Criminal to take over for another, it’s amazing…! It’s a family trade.
I can smell the Forbidden Cuban Fruit very close..
Romeo
February 19th, 2008 at 12:00 am
I am in total agreement with Romeo. My family came over in the Boat Lift and we will not celebrate until that family is dead and gone.
February 19th, 2008 at 12:00 am
Viva la Cohiba, and Monte, and Hoyo, and Punch!
I hope thos efuckers all croak so we can smoke the real deals!
February 19th, 2008 at 12:00 am
Wow, Limp, what a wonderful Christian thought.
February 19th, 2008 at 12:00 am
A couple of comments:
1 As an old buddy of mine explained when I was visiting in Moscow. “It’s not about Democracy or communism – it’s who gets the dachas and Zills”. Those who are in power will want to stay in power just look at Washington.
2 I’ve had Cuban cigars and I think the current growers in Central America grow as good tobacco and roll a finer cigar. They took more than the shirts on their back they took taste and knowledge.
February 19th, 2008 at 12:00 am
I agree with Zman -That rancid son of a bitch has been dead for six months. Not sure why they’re doing this now. Who knows, maybe Raul’s a goner, too. No one has een him in a while either.
February 19th, 2008 at 12:00 am
I wonder if they’ll put the cigar in Fidel’s ass on EBAY?
February 19th, 2008 at 12:00 am
Could bring the gar from Castro’s ass to the Antique Road Show.
February 19th, 2008 at 12:00 am
Or you could just smoke it.
Can you imagine the flavor profile?
You really would be smoking a well-aged Cuban.
February 19th, 2008 at 12:00 am
It would be years before the Cubans get their quality to even up with the great smokes from the “newer” countries of origin. And regarding the so called “ban” on Cuban Cigars, it only applies to us “common folk”. I happen to know for a fact that all of the federal politicians and many Captains of industry have unlimited supplies of the same cigars we are not allowed to even possess.
February 19th, 2008 at 12:00 am
I happen to know for a fact that all of the federal politicians and many Captains of industry have unlimited supplies of the same cigars we are not allowed to even possess. – Posted by Paul W. Kellerman
Not only that Paul, but they are the same politicians who support the SCHIP bill and the brutal taxation of cigars.
And why? Because they will still get them whenever they want. Career politicians are the scum of this earth.
February 19th, 2008 at 12:00 am
He’s still alive. Here’s a picture taken Jan 15th by the President of Brazil.
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/5551340.html
Although he looks so skinny, you’d probably be doing good to stick a petite corona up his ass.
Zman, I loved the comment about smoking a “well aged Cuban” LMAO. But I don’t think I’d be impressed with the flavor profile, even though I have had cigars in the past that tasted like s%#@.
February 19th, 2008 at 12:00 am
Well maybe the last thing he ate was a Cuban Sandwich and that works well for me in the flavor profile department.
February 19th, 2008 at 12:00 am
Nice history Zman on the Cohiba. I did not know that. Also, pretty horrible how they threw families out of their homes of hundreds of years all for their own. No wonder why the man has been hated for so long. Damn, even I hate the fuggin guy.
February 20th, 2008 at 12:00 am
I figure Cubans will cost me more, if we finally normalize relations.
But…it seems like we should normalize relations with Cuba now , if we had any leaders with an average number of grey cells.
Figure we will have to wait a year until anything happens.
Long live the embargo!
February 20th, 2008 at 12:00 am
Hoyo de Monterrey Double Corona, Partagas Serie D Robusto, Montecristo # 2 Torpedo…
…is that really too much to ask for?