TV Has Been Pretty Tough On Us
Thank the good Lord above that the writer’s strike is over because television is right now at its all-time worst. The best thing the network goons have come up with is “My Dad Can Beat the Livin’ Snot Outta Your Dad.” F’ing pathetic. Reality shows have run amok as the stations were at their wits ends as to what to air. Turn on the tv and it is just filled with a conglomerate of absolute crap. Jane Fonda even just said the unspeakable “C” word on the Today Show causing hostess Meredith Viera to almost needlessly apologize to what I think has become a desensitized American audience. We’re all getting very used to seeing and hearing pure filth and garbage.
Basically I find myself watching hockey and reruns, ie: Seinfeld, Family Guy, Two and Half Men. But of course I do admit that there is some good reality stuff going on that truly saves the day. I’m the typical male who is very into “guy stuff” and I gravitate towards those type of shows. One that I’m addicted to is Guy Fieri’s show on the Food Network, Diners, Drive Ins, and Dive’s. Guy won the Food Network Challenge a couple of seasons ago and was rewarded with his own gig that has become a tremendous success for the network. He travels across the U.S. finding diners and “Hole-in-the-walls” that create good old-fashioned food to die for – like cheeseburgers so mouth watering you want to leap through the screen to get some, chili joints, BBQ ribs pulled pork like no other, amazing breakfasts, you name it. And he just featured the Jefferson Diner jeffersondiner.com in my hometown (on the NJ diner tour which will air tonight – Feb. 15 – at 9pm). The J-Town diner serves food the way it was meant to be – great tasting and lots of it. Known for its Greek specialties, they feature their famed Moussaka, a dish made with chop meat, eggplant, and tomatoes – again, to freakin die for!
I’ve become a Texas Hold ‘Em fan in the past year and I find I can sharpen my game by watching what the pros do. I especially like watching actress turned pro card player, Jennifer Tilly strut her upper frontal area as she distracts the guys with the low swingin’ fruit and takes home the dough. Yeah-yaaaaaa! Mike Rowe’s Dirty Jobs is a huge hit as he goes on sight to perform some of the most foul and hideous jobs ever imaginable. The most memorable was Mike joining a crew whose mission was to clean a home where the septic backed up and exploded through the toilets and the sinks throughout the house. Holy shineola is right – a hepatitis breeding ground and as rancid and horrific as it gets!
Then there are the two shows that are much alike – Survivor Man, staring Canadian Les Stroud, and Man vs. Wild, staring Englishman, Bear Grylls. The premise: drop ‘em in an uninhabited place (the dessert, mountains, jungle, etc.) and “supposedly” with no help, spend the show trying to survive and make it to safety. Recently Grylls, (former member of the British army’s special forces) has taken a lot of heat for faking scenes and staying in Holiday Inns instead of snake infested rock formations. Can’t say I blame the bugger. I’d love to see these two white as they come anglo-saxons dropped off on McCarter Highway and the ramp for 280 in Newark for 48 hours and see how they do. Survivor Man’s cameras would be stolen within five minutes and Grylls would be stripped naked and stuffed in a burnt out trashcan. Both men would be forced to scavenge through a dumpster behind Popeye’s Fried Chicken and squeegee car windows near the Prudential Center while wearing pizza boxes for trousers. Poor bastids didn’t stand a chance.
Even though it’s old, I still dig the boys from American Choppers. Amazing how a reality TV show turned these small business, basic laborers into mega-stars worth hundreds of millions of dollars. The same thing seems to be happening on the show Little People, Big World. It centers on a family of midgets with a couple of normal sized kids. What? Wud I say? What…midgets? They’re freaking midgets so keep yer skirts on. Nobody said the N-word or the C-word… what, you want me to call them – the M-word? Hey, when I grew up they were midgets. Ok, I know – when I grew up the term “colored people” was used, too. Well, until the Midget lobby gets their own version of Al Sharpton, I gotta use a term I’m comfortable with. It’s a heck of a lot nicer than tiny little bastids – no? Anyway, when this show started the family was struggling financially, and now they go on vacations on private yachts. They’re actually very good people and I’m just joshin ‘em. But for the friggin life of me I just can’t picture the mom and the dad doin’ the – ah, forget it. My cup of “cheap laughs” doth runneth over for today
Last but not least, I have always been loyal to Mr. Trump and the Apprentice. If you watched last night you saw the incomparable Omarosa (with the new rack that she’s been hovering on display) act like an unconscionable piece of vile garbage. Lennox Lewis said it best, referring to her actions as “Ghetto.” She is the most unprofessional person I have ever seen to call herself a businesswoman. If you watched, I’m sure you hoped like I did that Piers Morgan (who is a monster pompous ass) was going to lose his Limey mind and put his curled up fist through that biotches skull. If it was permmited to hit someone on the show, that skank would be in a body bag by now. Wow, now THAT would have made for great television – in a time when TV needs it most!
Well, I gotta go – Dr. Phil of S&!t is on and that dude is just the bomb – don’t you think? Makes you almost miss Rosie.
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Have a great weekend my peeps,
Tommy Z.
JR Cigar Blog With the Zman
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February 15th, 2008 at 12:00 am
Gylls taking a lot of heat for what he did sounds kind of familiar? Sort of like a blogger who wouldn’t put up when the bet came on. Just kidding there zman. LOL
I used to love the Apprentice, but the idea of the celebs on it ruined it for me and I just couldn’t even watch an episode. How does it really compare to the previous seasons?
One thing the writer’s strike did for me was get me outside smoking a lot more cigars, so I guess it wasn’t a bad thing looking at it that way.
February 15th, 2008 at 12:00 am
I thought I was going to hate the Celebrity Apprentice but I am quite surprised how good it is. The thing that makes it dynamic is that almost every one of these people have egos of major league massive proportions. It sure makes for some amazing skirmishes. And as I said, Omarosa outdid herself last night with the most disgusting and trash-ass performance of her life.
February 15th, 2008 at 12:00 am
As I’ve stated before, I can’t and won’t watch any of that reality crap. Although I haven’t delved deeply into many of the “middle cable channels” (between the local and basic cable ones, and the HD and premium channels) looking for off-the-wall shows.
I tend to stick with Rockets (NBA)and college basketball, and a few regular shows still going, like Boston Legal, Stargate Atlantis, etc. Throw in a few movies, and my tv time is filled.
Fortunately, the weather’s been reasonable, so I’m spending an hour or so on the back patio with a scotch and a cigar or two. Often better than sitting mindlessly staring at the boob tube (especially since there are rarely any great boobs to stare at on the tube).
I wonder if the Playboy channel suffered during the writer’s strike? You know, with no scripts telling the girls when to giggle and when to jiggle.
February 15th, 2008 at 12:00 am
I enjoy SurvivorMan, But as similar as it is, Man Vs. Wild has never really been able to hold my attention. I blame Grylls personality for this, though I have to admit I may have been influenced by the holiday inn thing before I ever saw the program. I also periodically watch Dirty Jobs, and have every released season of Family Guy on DVD. As far as I’m concerned, you can have the rest of that crap.
My better half, on the other hand, watches everything you mentioned there, and loves it all. Apprentice has always been her favorite – but this season she says has ruined it it. The celebrities have changed the whole focus of the “game”.
On the other hand, it’s clearly been too long since I watched some good proffesional poker…
February 15th, 2008 at 12:00 am
I couldn’t care less about the writers’ strike – one way or the other. Nothing I watch is stuff they have anything to do with.
On a related note, in 4 days I’ll mark five years from the half-century mark, and hopefully will be the recipient of seasons 2-7 (7 seasons, right?) of The Sopranos. Santa dropped off Season 1, which I have yet to watch. Hopefully I’ll have at least some additional seasons to watch. I’ve seen only a couple of episodes, but I know I’ll love it from the ones I’ve seen on free TV.
February 15th, 2008 at 12:00 am
Kill Your Television
February 15th, 2008 at 12:00 am
Thanx for voicing you thoughts, Voicer!
Welcome to the jungle!
- Zman
February 15th, 2008 at 12:00 am
Screw TV, 90% of everything sucks, including TV “shows”. The writer strike just proved that nobody needs ‘em. blech
BTW, no thanks on the overboxed and overpriced cigars ;-P
February 16th, 2008 at 12:00 am
There was a TV strike?????????
February 16th, 2008 at 12:00 am
I’m sorry Den, apparently not in Colorado.