Walking our streets daily are criminals, murderers, rapists, and terrorists who have been released or just have god damned good lawyers. But baseball players have a chance of going to prison because they lied to a Grand Jury. To that I say “Oh big f@#king deal, get a grip on your pompous-ass holy lives people.” How the hell did steroids in baseball become a federal issue? If somebody took steroids at a Subway sandwich shop and became the world’s greatest sandwich dude, would a government panel give a squat? Jeez Louise, yesterday I had the free McKill-me Burrito at McDonalds and my septic system will never be the same. Shouldn’t that kind of thing be looked into? My ass still stings from the atomic flame throwing sausage Mc-freebie. Even right now I’m sitting gingerly as I type for crissakes. Where’s the congressional hearing here?

Shouldn’t this be dealt with inside of the confines of Major League Baseball? Shouldn’t a pro sport police it’s own and deal with it internally? Shouldn’t the burning have stopped by now? I mean it feels like a nuclear attack was launched on Uranus. Can’t I possibly keep on track with my thoughts? No, because the itch is now driving me mad. Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s TMI – until it happens to you.

So what’s going to happen, Bond and Clemens – two of the biggest names in the history of the game will be put in prison? Get the f@#k out of here!  Then you’d probably put hundreds of players from the past ten years into the klink as well. What total bullsquat. Then you’ve got to after the guys in the other major sports.

It seems throughout history that these congressional hearing people go into these things with a vile hard-on with the intent of putting another head on their trophy walls. And even if Clemens and Bonds are guilty, which I think most fans believe that they are, what now? Does and asterisk go next to their names in the record books? Or does an asterisk go next to anything that happened during an entire decade’s worth of time? And will Mickey D’s pay restitution to all the folks whose seating areas have been unconditionally flame broiled? Inquiring minds wanna know!

Bottom Line: this whole thing is a cluster f@#k and Major League Baseball is to blame. They knew this crap was going on for years, but let it escalate like a boiling pot until the lid blows off to kingdom come. Maybe the commissioner and the all of the team owners should be horsewhipped for lying thorough their teeth as well. They ALL knew what was going down and they’re the one’s who should be  humiliated in public display. The players are the puppets who brought them their profits and now they’re the one’s who are taking the hit.

No one knows what will become of this but one thing is for certain – I think I’m switching to high fiber brand muffins.

Next week we’ll be talking for sure with Cigar Association of America president, Norm Sharpe who will be giving us the the state of the union in the world of cigars.

Have a great weekend to all,
Tommy Z.
JR Cigar Blog With the Zman

I drove the kids to school today and I was cruising past the cholesterol arches and figured, what the hell, I’ll give it a try. I pulled up to the window and of course the first thing I hear is, “Jess, welcoom to Meek Doe-nolds, ceen I halp you?” Oy.

“Yeah, I’ll have the medium coffee and the McSkillet Burrito.”

Won cuff-ee. Wood ju like meelk and shuuuuugar?

“Yes, please.”

“Dat wheel be $3.96 please drive around.”

“Wait a minute, isn’t the Burrito free?”

“Jess.”

“So it’s $3.96 for a medium coffee?”

“Jess, $3.96 please drive around.”

Dejavu was rearing its ugly noggin as once again the sound of my skull repeatedly cracking against the steering wheel is undeniably creepy.

So I drove around to the cashier in a bewildered and hungry state. The manager was at the window and said, “$1.25 please.” I told him the girl kept saying it was $3.96 and he laughed and said oh don’t worry about her, she speaks about eight words of English. Once again, I live in suburban, mountainous whitelandia where the locals refuse the fast-food jobs so immigrants are bused in from 45 minutes away. I know we’ve gone down this road before but it’s like Groundhog Day and I’m tired of punching out Ned Ryerson for crissakes.

So I get home and unwrap me free treasure. The sandwich was decent by McD standards – sausage very spicy, egg, potato, peppers and onions on a quality burrito wrap. Pretty decent – quite surprised.  But five minutes later was the bigger surprise when my stomach started rumbling like Krakatoa at dawn. The next thing you know, the gates of Hell open wide and I’m scurrying for the porcelain deposit box (you know, in the cartoons where your legs spin and your feet don’t touch the floor.) Kaboom would be an appropriate term. Wait a minute…great tag line here comin’…“the McDonald’s Skillet Burrito” The world’s first breakfast sandwich laxative.”

And what’s with the name? Corporate marketing makes it like some southwestern chef named Bart is in the back with a hunongous iron skillet – there’s a big ol’ pot of coffee on the campfire – and he’s a rustlin’ up the savory sausage freshly slaughtered on a local farm, eggs that just popped out of a hen, some taters, onions and peppers – yee-fuggin-haw! Reality: A little dude from Central America is tearing open pre-packaged plastic, pours it into a mold and turns on a timer. I guess that’s not as romantic, huh? 

I will say that Mickey D’s get’s a good grade from the Zman for giving out some free grub and making it pretty decent. But my suggestion is that they co-op with Charmin to give out a free roll with every sandwich. Again I say, Yummo!

Coming in at #3: Rachael Ray
You simply cannot look anywhere in America without Rachael Ray’s “joker face” on every channel and recipe box – and admit it folks – it is getting a tad sickening. She’s not a “real” chef, she never attended a culinary school, yet Ray has become the perky little expert on how to cook up shit fast and how to eat in different geographic regions for a Hamilton bill a day.

At first she was different, happy and pleasant enough. But Madison Avenue (a culture I’m quite familiar with) has a way of jamming an idea down our collective throats until we hurl our corn flakes in unison. Even fellow Food Network star chef Anthony Bourdain refers to her as the station’s “bobble head.” The star chefs of the network all have famous restaurants – Flay, Emmeril, Mario, Puck, etc. What kind of place would Ray have? Mac n’ cheese, tater tots, and PB&J? I’m serious – what is she known for but making bad food in half an hour?  I’m honestly not trying to be hateful –  like that’s gonna put her bank account in jeopardy – I just don’t understand the hundreds of millions of dollars in marketing behind her. The food she cooks on 30-Minute Meals looks barely edible and if America was running on Dunkin, well now it’s running on Rachael Ray. Yummo, suckers.

Hanging in at #2 is Donald Trump.
There is no one in the world quite like the Donald. Sure his brand derives from his megacentric-ego, but there’s no denying that the man has branded himself quite brilliantly over the years. But it is a matter of perception, and whether you like Trump or not makes a difference on how you feel about his products. Walk into one of his buildings and your jaw will drop as everything is done and created within the pinnacle of excellence. And obviously the man was a closet TV host all his life, thus The Apprentice made its debut. But some things the man has done lately are a little shaky at best, in my opinion. Trump Vodka is incredibly pretentious to many. The vodka market has tremendous brand loyalty – Grey Goose, Bellvedere, Kettle One, Stoli, Vox, etc. –  and to attempt getting a vodka drinker to switch because Mr. Happy Hair has his name on it, well that’s a damned tough sell. But his biggest faux pas of all was the creation of the amazing Trump Water. Why in the name of God would you drink Trump water over Poland Spring? Is there possibly DNA in Trump Water? Will it make you talk like his daughter? Will your hair turn into a million dollar birds nest? By the way, a message to the Donald’s stylist – “You’re so seriously friggin’ fired, bro.”

And the #1 Brand Egotist is none other than: Oprah Winfrey.
The broad has put her name on everything one can imagine, and now she has opened the Oprah Store on Chicago’s west side. What the hell? –  The freakin’ Oprah Store. Pretty soon there will be an Oprah Store next to every Target in North America as she continues her trek for Oprah world domination. So what’s next for Madame Harpo?…The Oprah Theme Park –  Bump and grind on the mighty Steadman and drive the great expanse of Doctor Phil’s dome? Soldier Field changes its name to Oprah Paladium? How about Oprah Air? If anybody can brand the f@#king air we breathe, it’s goddamned Oprah Winfery. She likes basketball, so why not lobby to change the name of the game to Oprahball? Sounds reasonable, right? It’s just a rumor at this point, but talk on the street says that the Big O is in negotiating with the United Nations for the rights to Oprah Earth. You can only imagine how pissed Donald Trump must be.

Yummo.

Have a kick-ash Wednesday,
Tommy Z.
JR Cigar Blog With the Zman

Obama Photo Causes Uproar
Contention rears its ugly head in the political arena once more as an incredibly controversial photo involving Barrack Obama has circulated about the internet. Many are blaming the Clinton camp for releasing the photo in question, creating the type of smear campaign that a desperate candidate just might resort to. The photograph is from Obama’s 2006 visit to Montreal, Canada where the senator from Illinois is dressed in native Canadien garb – donning a goalie’s mask, chest protector, gloves and leg pads, and a Patrick Roy jersey. Mrs. Clinton was quoted as saying that not only do we hate the French, but everyone knows that you people don’t play ice hockey. Obama in a press statement simply replied, “What do you people mean by “you people?” And supposedly a second controversial photo has cropped up of senator Obama, this one dating back to 1981, where he is standing outside a theatre and reportedly dressed as Frank N. Furter from the classic cult motion picture, the Rocky Horror Picture Show. When questioned, Obama’s only reply was, “Dammit Janet.”

It’s 1979 all Over Again
Wow, Valerie Bertinelli has a new book where she admits to cheating on rocker, husband Eddie Van Halen. In other news, the Sweathog Reunion Tour is selling out Elks Clubs all over the mid-west. (Please God, just don’t show me any photos of Mackenzie Phillips dressed in goalie gear, thank you.)

Oopsies Whoopisies
Whoppi Goldberg got a tad emotional on The View as the fact was brought up that during the Oscar’s montage retrospective, Whoopi, a four time host of the awards show was not shown or mentioned at all. Fellow actor and friend, the Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger felt bad and appeared dressed in garb from the movie The Predator, looked at Whoopi and screamed out, “I’m heeya – keel me now! Wut are you wade-ing fer…Keel me now!” Whoopi reportedly so flattered gave Elisabeth Hasselbeck a full open mouth kiss and called Baba Wawa a cougar honkie. Hasselbeck has been released from Lenox Hill Hospital and no mention of the always-annoying Rosie O’donnell was made at all – until just now.

Going Green Means Going Stone Age
Detroit Automobile makers are looking into making the incredibly “eco-friendly” Flintstones Car a reality by 2010. The car is basically “human powered” generating motion from your own bare feet,” claims a GM spokesman. The chasey is made of sturdy oak, and the tires are large cylindrical blocks of granite. “Once the passengers get it going it just drives amazingly on its own.” Claims a Chrysler VP. "The foot brakes seem to work well in all “animated” tests that we’ve seen and the canvas roof is a big plus from the design department." There is no need for gasoline, although fossil fuels have been a big part in its development. The one downside is that the auto weighs in at an astounding 12-tons but the upside is that no air bags are needed as the car will virtually destroy anything in its path. More to come.

Best Cigar For Its Value…
Hey, want one of the best value cigars that tastes and smokes phenomenal – and I’ll be having a few this evening? Go no further says the Zman –  The JR Belicoso Cabinet Natural or Oscuro – absolutely one  of my favorite cigars and the price is amazing. A must buy sez me!
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That’s the News for today!
Tommy Z.
JR Cigar Blog With the Zman

What a friggin sham. There were so many on the tiny island nation who had hoped that reform would take place and new blood with new ideas would lift the country from poverty. Many hoped that younger men with advanced economic ideas would have a chance to be heard, but as no real surprise to most, the status quo has continued. There were many who hoped Cuba’s 42-year-old foreign minister, Felipe Perez Roque, would be chosen as the new presidente – someone who doesn’t need a two-pound bran muffin for breakfast and several pots on café con leche to get the engine greased each morning. And not only was Fidel’s ancient brother put into power, but named as second in command is another poster boy for Metamucil, 77 year-old revolutionary leader Jose Ramon Machado. In fact many of the oldest leaders have maintained their key positions. What the hell else can anyone say but, “Help I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”

I’m sure that many of you were dreaming of golden brown Hoyo Double Coronas, rich dark Monte #2’s and sumptuous “real deal” Cohiba Esplendidos to rejoice with this week, but instead we were all fed the same pile of mierde that the Cuban government has been handing out for half a century. Ten straight U.S. presidents have tried to toss Fidel from power but the son-of-a-bitch is like a cockroach, escaping one assassination attempt after another. Raul said of his brother, “Fidel is irreplaceable and the people shall continue his work when he is no longer physically with us.” He continued by noting that Clark Kent and Superman were never in the same room together and wanted to know if anyone else thought it strange. And even though he is the new leader, the wild and crazy Raul says that Fidel will still play a major role in running the country. "Fidel is Fidel, we all know it very well," Raul told parliament as he sung those rhyming words over and over to the children’s theme song of Barney.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice openly criticized the new Castro appointment, claiming that the citizens of Cuba have a right "to choose their leaders in democratic elections." Conde also stated she hoped the Cuban government would " begin a process of peaceful, democratic change by releasing all political prisoners, respecting human rights and creating a clear pathway toward free and fair elections." Members of parliament quickly responded by noting that the gap in Ms. Rice’s teeth is getting to Michael Strahan proportions, but all unanimously agreed that they’d “hit it” in a heartbeat.

In Friday’s edition of Cuba’s Granma newspaper Fidel Castro wrote a letter saying that the only change necessary must come from the United States. Castro claims that "Cuba changed a long time ago" and has not needed to go any further. With Cuban families averaging an income of $19 per month, no healthcare, basically zero internet usage, and driving all the latest new car designs from the 1950’s the Castros sure have proven what a progressive bunch they really are.

The following was taken from today’s USA Today: Oscar Espinosa, a Cuban economist who was part of a group of 75 dissidents jailed during a 2003 roundup, said all the talk of economic changes had raised the expectations of Cubans to a level he had never seen before. "People are forced to rob, to live through the black market and to cheat and steal. It’s a terrible situation. We’ve lost our values," said Espinosa, who is on a conditional medical release from prison after serving two years.

The saying “cutting off your nose to spite your face” really is appropo here. If the Cuban hard-line regime would meet a few demands many have no doubt that the U.S. would lift the 45 year-old embargo against the island just 90 miles south of Key West. Before the sanctions, tourism flourished and sugar cane was a valued export for American food companies. But most of all, the magnificent leaf used to roll the world’s most richest and finest cigars would “legally” grace the lips of our awaiting puro loving citizens once again.

Communism sucks.

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In his junior year in high school in Indianapolis, Jared weighed 425 pounds and the day he wore a yellow sweat suit, kids had mistaken him for their bus and tried to climb aboard. But it wasn’t until while hiking through the woods that the Indiana wildlife commission darted and tagged him was when he realized there might be a need for a drastic life change. At age 20 he estimated that his caloric intake was 10,000 calories a day, enough to put a mastadon into a diabetic coma. Before the diet, he was not only was he a fat slob of a bastid, but he was going broke. A daily lunch of six pizzas with everything and a Diet Coke is gonna put a hurt on the wallet for sure. Rumor has it he was running guns into Central America just to afford his gluttonous lifestyle and his compadres affectionately referred to him as El Heifer. One Halloween he went out dressed as a Shea Stadium and local towns rented out his services as a backstop for their Little League programs. 

On his own, Jared invented this eating pattern and stuck to it until he lost every last pound. It really is an amazing testament to his will power and you have to give the guy tremendous credit. A former dorm mate of Fogle’s didn’t recognize him and was blown away by the story. The friend wrote a local article about Jared’s success and suddenly word got out and Subway corporate took interest. His first commercial was an overwhelming hit and the company received responses from USA Today, ABC News, Fox News, and Oprah.

Since the Jared campaign began Subway’s sales have doubled to 8.2 billion dollars. He now travels 200 days a year for the company as their spokesman and an ambassador for healthy eating. It’s a pretty incredible success story for a guy who was an absolute misfit and once had his own zip code.

No matter what, like most fast food, the real sandwich you actually get at Subway looks absolutely nothing like the heaping mounds of fresh meat and cheeses overflowing like a cornucopia in the television spots. In my opinion, Subway sandwiches are certainly not “real” deli sandwiches, but they sure lead you to believe it. The meat is all pre-cut sitting in little plastic boxes, while immigrants with plastic gloves and very little grasp of the English language lay three slices of ham across the six inch bread and ask “Wut els wud yu lyk my fdend?” The average 6” sandwich really has very little meat or cheese but they load it up with lettuce and veggies to make it seem like a big deal. Obviously that keeps the calories down but also leaves us burly man cigar smoking goons a hell of a lot hungrier for more. I do admit that there are a few sandwiches I do enjoy there – the tuna is always pretty tasty with a little xtra-mayo and the pastrami with melted swiss is actually really nice. OK, it’s right before lunch and I just ate my shoe. Bad move talking about hot pastrami when you’re hungry as all hell.

Anyway guys, I say here’s to Jared who is celebrating ten full years of keeping off the weight and becoming what I would imagine a pretty wealthy friggin dude. The guy has literally become an American Icon and I say good for you bro, good for you. Now lemme at that freakin’ pastrami for crissakes!

Take care and have a great weekend,
Tommy Z.
JR Cigar Blog With the Zman
——————————————————————————————————————-
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"I’m very disappointed in the article. It’s not true," McCain said as his incredibly smoking-hot cougar wife, Cindy, stood beside him during a press conference addressing the matter.

McCain, a four-term Arizona senator and Navy pilot added, "I’ve served this nation honorably for more than half a century. At no time have I ever done anything that would betray the public trust."

"I intend to move on," he added. The woman in question, lobbyist Vicki Iseman, is described by the Senator as a “friend.”

Now, I haven’t seen this lobbyist woman but Cindy McCain is a political uber-milf and she could be my first lady any day. But the real question is: Who the hell would crawl into the sack with the Galapagos Turtle-headed McCain? I mean the guy looks like you could toss him a bucket of minnows and he’d be just fine through dinner. There’s close-up a photo of the McCains side by side and I thought for sure that the Mrs. was visiting the King Tut exhibit. And this is the guy’s problem – Obama is all young, hip, energetic and in good shape and Johnny could be the poster boy for the “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” campaign.

There have been proven studies that in elections of all types, the better looking candidate often wins. It’s a pretty callous society we live in, but hey, what are you going to do? And maybe that theory is why “Telephone Pole Legs” Clinton is getting her girthy ass kicked in primary after primary. Or maybe it’s because she’s a stone cold, lying heartless bitoch?  Yeah, that could be it too. A real proof of the “good looker” theory was the presidential television debate between JFK and Richard Nixon. Kennedy was the young, swarthy, manly type, and Tricky Dick was not only pretty goofy looking, but was sick as a dog the night of the debate. He was sweating, pale and constantly wiping his face and brow. People who watched it outwardly remarked that not only was Nixon unattractive, but that Kennedy had hands-down won the debate. But…VERY interestingly enough, those who only heard the debate on the radio, overwhelmingly thought Nixon had won the debate. We are a nation of Shallow Hals. And furthermore, I would vote for Elizabeth Hurley and Jessica Alba to cradle my caucus any day.

Not that the Times would ever try to take down a conservative…noooooo…but I don’t think anyone is buying that somebody consciously had an affair with the only man who is possibly more hideous looking than Jimmy Carter. Although in fairness, Ol’ Jimbo sure looks like he’s snagged a bass or two himself. The dude looks like a retarded bulldog morphed onto his head. Eee-fuggin-gads.

And even more mud is being slung as the lovely Cindy M. took on Michelle Obama for a poor choice of words about our country. While in Milwaukee this past Monday, Mrs. Obama said: "Let me tell you, for the first time in my adult life, I am really proud of my country. Not just because Barack is doing well, but I think people are hungry for change."

Cindy McCain while appearing at a Wisconsin rally on Tuesday then said: "I’m proud of my country, I don’t know about you, if you heard those words earlier."

Well, Barrack suddenly found himself with a “clean-up in aisle 5,” as the Mrs. inadvertently dropped a huge jar of POTUS “oopsies” to the ground. On a Texas radio station he defended his lady by saying, “What she meant was, this is the first time that she’s been proud of the politics of America." But the obvious problem is – That’s not WHAT she said. “For the first time in my adult life, I am really proud of my country,” were her exact words and you know that assbags like me are going to be all over it. Mrs. McCain continued her criticism by saying, “Sweet move girl friend – NOT!” Mrs. Obama’s retort then was, “Somebody’s gonna cut that biotch.” McCain replied with “Yo mama – skank!” To Mrs. Obama’s comeback of, “Oh no you didn’t, faux white!” The two ladies will meet today at the Milwaukee War Memorial Armory for a two out of three fall Jello pudding match, cage match.

There’s nine months of hell left my good people. And we haven’t even yet begun to fight!

The Dickens you say!

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He’s known as the the Pitbull of Personal Development and I can tell you from personal experience that this man is the real deal and walks his talk. Larry Winget is one of the hottest speakers and authors in the country. He also has a TV show on A&E called “Big Spender” where he works with couples one-on-one, helping them deal with their “our of control” money issues. His three books are all Best Sellers: Shut Up, Stop Whining and Get a Life, It’s Called Work for a Reason, and his latest success entitled: You’re Broke Because You Want To Be (NY Times / Wall Street Journal #1 Best Seller.) As you can tell just by the titles, Larry flies smack into the face of conventional wisdom, hitting just hard enough below the belt so ya’ll can wake up and smell the cigars.

Mr. Winget is an Oklahoma native with a loud booming south-western voice and over 130 pairs of designer cowboy boots for kicking ass when ass-kicking is appropriate (Which I’m guessing is about 95% of the time.) He’s also huge connoisseur of fine cigars and as you can imagine, that instantly bonded us like brothers from another mother. I had the pleasure of hanging out with Larry for a full Sunday afternoon in Manhattan’s Little Italy, and let me say that the real “full frontal” Larry gave me the Winget lowdown. In today’s blog I wanted to focus on his new book mainly because so many people are in horrendous debt and don’t even know where to start when it comes to managing their income. The man is tough as nails but true to himself with a plethora of information that you just don’t like to hear or want to hear – but tough shineola my friend because tough love (Winget style) may just be your best medicine. He has trademarked the term “The World’s Only Irritational Speaker” for a damned good reason.

Zman: Was talking about “how to deal with money” the next logical progression with the books you have written?

Larry: Right now in our economy and the way people are spending and with the level of debt individuals have, this subject was the next natural place for me to go in terms of taking personal responsibility for yourself.

Zman: There’s a million books on this subject. My thinking is that in order for you to have a NY Times Best Seller, this book is probably pretty damned different than what’s out there.

Larry: Well, as you’ve noticed, my style IS pretty damned different.

Zman: They refer to that as an understatement, Larry.

Larry: Most people want to hold your hand and assure that you can do it. Chances are – you really can’t do it – mainly because you won’t do it. The real question is “WILL YOU” do it? Most people just won’t do what’s necessary. Everybody knows what it takes to be more financially secure, and that is to spend less than you earn. I attack your willingness to fix your problem. It doesn’t matter whether you can, it matter whether you will or not. My approach to fixing your finances is: Will you take the hard steps to make the necessary changes?

Zman: So what makes Larry Winget someone we should listen to about managing our out-of-control finances?

Larry: In terms of money and debt, I have been where most people are right now. You can’t possibly come to me with an excuse that I haven’t used in my own life. You grew up poor? Well big damned deal, what are you gonna do about it? You went bankrupt? Yeah, so what are you gonna do about it? I have proved that you can go from poor to rich to bankrupt back to rich again. My position has been just as bad. On top of that I studied everything I could lay my hands on about financial success. I went out and studied the topic completely – including reading the top 150 books in the world on finance and wealth and speaking personally with the some of the world’s most knowledgeable and wealthiest people. I wanted to make sure in order to be credible that I came from both knowledge and experience.

Zman: This isn’t anywhere near as complicated as people might think, is it?

Larry: Not at all, Tommy. My whole approach on this subject really comes down to a handful of concepts and ideas. The real question is: Do you have the willingness to see this through? I’m telling you that the steps to getting rich are actually very simple.

#1. Take responsibility for your situation no matter what it is.
#2. Know exactly where you are in terms of your debt and your money.
I’ve yet to find anybody who knew where they were, nobody knows who they owe, how much they owe, they aren’t really even sure when it’s due. Once you discover where you are…
#3. Determine where you want to be.
#4. Determine why it’s important to be there.   
Why is it important for you to make this move from the mess you’ve created, to the place where you’d really like to be in your life. It’s the WHY that will motivate you to go to the better place – not the how.
#5. What are you willing to give up that will get you where you want to be?
This is about altering your lifestyle. You don’t really get more success, you give up what’s keeping you from being successful. You don’t get more money, you give up what’s keeping you from having more money. You ALWAYS have to give something up. People who are in foreclosure and looking at losing everything don’t want to give up their cable TV or their DVD’s. It seems that every broke-ass person on the planet has about 1,000 DVD’s that they bought.

Zman: What’s the common denominator that qualifies all broke-ass people?

Larry: Selfishness. If you ask anyone what they want in life they usually say financial security for their family. Then I ask why aren’t they spending their money in that way? People spend money in very selfish ways on things that give them instant gratification that only make them happy. It’s not about long-term selfishness in making sure your family has all things it needs to prosper long-term, it’s about instant gratification – as long as I’m happy right now, the future will take care of itself – and that is not how it works. It’s about knowing and defining your long-term priorities – what’s REALLY important to you? Listen, I’m all into feeling good and being selfish – but all for the right reasons. It’s about knowing your priorities that align with your goal of financial security. It’s OK to be selfish about those things instead of just making yourself instantly happy.

Zman: Interesting…you’ve turned selfish from a bad thing to a good thing in order to make things work out.

Larry: I’m a big believer in selfishness. I think it’s a wonderful thing. I know that if I’m really selfish and I want my family to prosper, then I will focus on that. I’ll put my family ahead of anybody else – now, in global terms that’s very selfish. I also I know that if I’m selfish for myself (and I know I can afford it) I feel good about myself, then it helps me help others feel good about themselves. And that’s when I’m most effective and I give the best service. The key there is knowing when you can afford it.

Spending the day with Larry really motivated me incredibly (while we ate, drank wine, and smoked cigars for four hours.) Like I said, he’s the real deal who walks his talk and delivers it straight between the eyes. If you think you can “handle the truth” then Larry Winget is your man.

Larry Winget’s books can be found at any major book retailer or their websites. You can learn a lot more about Larry, read his blog or email him by going to > larrywinget.com

I wish you prosperity,
Tommy Z.
JR Cigar Blog With the Zman

At 81 years old. I personally thought that the old boy has been dead for a while and it had been kept a secret from the Cuban people. (But then again I think the tooth fairy is a government conspiracy so take what I say with one big ol’ heaping grain of Morton’s.) During his last bout in the hospital, I believe Castro’s colostomy bag seeped into his system, which should have been lights out for a guy in his eighth decade, but somehow El Presidente has continued to live on. Praise Jaysus, it’s a miracle…si!

Since the late 1700’s the American people have had a love affair with Cuban cigars. But something happened in September of 1960 that changed the cigar industry forever. The following is taken from my article in Cigar Magazine, Spring 2005, entitled: The Cuban Mystique – A defiant, bushy faced rebel named Fidel Castro ordered his khaki-clad henchmen to seize control of all family owned cigar factories in the name of the revolution. The great cigar makes of the day – Cifuentes, Torano, Menendez, Palicio – were forced into exile, leaving their beloved homeland with nothing more than the shirts on their backs. As they settled in places like the Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, Tampa, Miami, Honduras, and the Canary Islands, the new Cuban government was in control of all cigar-making operations. The Cubatobaco firm was created and the nationalization of the Cuban cigar industry had begun.

Over the last four decades even the harshest critics of the Castro regime claim that the cigar is the only thing the Cuban government has done right. How many times while you’re puffing away does some neophyte walk up and ask, “Is that a Cuban?” And if so, it must be a Cohiba? Little do people know that the Famed Cohiba, Cuba’s flagship brand, was created exclusively for Castro in 1966 by his personal roller, Eduardo Rivera. With daily assassination and death threats to his life, Fidel had his very own cigar that was not only guaranteed safe for him, but for the diplomats and foreign dignitaries that he presented his generous gifts of cigars to. It wasn’t until 1982 that the Cohiba was released as a commercial brand to the public – and was the very first “new” cigar release of the post revolution era.

Say or believe what you want but Fidel Castro has been not a nice man or a man for the people. So many from the island 90 miles south of Key West live in terrible poverty, little or no schooling, running water or the basics needed to support a family. During the Mariel Boat lift of 1980, over 125,000 Cuban citizens left their homelands and a life of tyrrany for good to live a life of freedom here in the United States. It was a bold political statement and the people had spoken.

Many have waited what seems forever for El Presidente Castro to head to that great shaded wrapper tent in the sky – without any luck. Fans of Cuban tobacco has long hoped that Castro’s demise would open up U.S. / Cuban relations, allowing the hallowed puros to make their first “legal” appearance into America in 45 years. But with brother Raúl in place, don’t be so sure that anything different will happen at all. Will he reach out to our government? – that remains to be seen. Fidel will tell the Cuban parliament that he will not accept a new term when they meet this coming Sunday. I personally thought he was already dead, but if not, the man is then deathly ill and we will probably hear of his demise very shortly.

So if anyone wants to join the Zman, I will putting together a cigar junket to Havana and establish relations with the new regime asap. While there, besides fine Habannas, I also will consume jugs of rum and an unlimited number of Cuban sandwiches. God almighty, I freakin’ love a good Cuban sandwich! Anyone who wants in just put up a post today and I’ll get you out on the first raft available.

But hey, before we can get there, Genuine Counterfeit Cuban cigars are the answer to your woes! Today I recommend the big-boy, 7 x 52 Churcill size for all your Castro resignation parties. www.jrcigars.com/index.cfm

Nothing in the world like a great meal with terrific people, good wine and fun conversation – it makes you slow down and appreciate life a bit more. Our next stop after dinner was to hit the famed Club Macanudo on 63rd Street for drinks and a bevy of fine cigars. The air was cold and crisp and instead of taking a cab, we decided that walking off our meals might just be the best thing. So we headed across Columbus Circle for the twenty-minute jaunt along Central Park South amongst nightlife goers and the horse drawn carriages.  I drew two Hoyo de Monterrey Certified 2002 Vintage www.jrcigars.com/index.cfm from my pocket and said, “Hey, why wait, right – there’s no better time than now.” As we clipped, lit, and took those first heavenly puffs it actually felt kind of special to be alive and strolling about like time didn’t matter.

We reached Club Macanudo www.clubmacanudo.com greeted by Manager James Plavoukos who is always genuinely happy to see his customers and make sure we always have the best time – which of course we certainly did. The nostalgic atmosphere is a kind of like a throwback to old Miami, with wood and earth tones surrounding a spectacular central bar – a real pleasure palace for the guys but the ladies love it equally. The libations, desserts, coffees, and of course the cigars – we were like kings and queens for the evening enjoying the best of what life has to offer. Yeah my peeps, we were livin’ large. It was kind of a classic “New York” night and as my friend put it, “People travel across the world just to have a night like that.”

It seems that only a cigar could bring about an evening with such warm passion and fond, lasting memories. The cigar is simply the world’s most incredible bonding tool. The alluring scent and ritualistic lighting and puffing can make the average night great, and a great night unforgettable. It is times like these that I am so grateful that I smoke fine cigars. I am so grateful that I have come to know the wonders of aged tobacco from far away lands basking in warm tropical breezes and indigenous island palms. No matter if strolling the Manhattan skyline or relaxing on your back deck, casting flies into a stream or a game of Texas Hold ‘Em with the guys, the cigar in your hand is the common thread that brings it all together.

In today’s world where so many are offended by our love for the cigar, great times may become fewer and farer between. There are those in our political system who wish to eradicate smoking to the point of prohibition, and as history has shown us, that sort of thing never goes over very well. Human nature kind of says – tell someone they can’t have something and they want it all the more. We as a group – a brotherhood – need to stick together and do whatever possible to keep safe the hobby we love and cherish.

Last week I had a great conversation with Norm Sharpe, president of the Cigar Association of America. Norm works daily at protecting our rights and making sure the legislatures don’t destroy this love and passion of ours. Norm gave me a low down on the state of the union of the cigar industry and what we can do and expect as time moves forward. Sometime this week I’ll share pieces of that interview with my faithful brethren at this blog as we all stay steadfast in preserving one of our lives most appreciated treasures.

It just so happens that it’s an amazing 60 plus degrees here in northern New Jersey on this Presidents Day and I am going to celebrate with several wonderful stogies of my choosing. La Finca Figurados www.jrcigars.com/index.cfm and the H. Upmann Signature Magnum. www.jrcigars.com/index.cfm