What Happens in Vegas?

Cigars and frivolity, that’s what.

Coming up in a couple of weeks is the grand daddy of all cigars shows, in Las Vegas, Nevada. It used to be known as the famed RTDA show – Retail Tobacco Dealer’s Association. But in the face of the smoking laws around the country, the industry felt it was a necessity to separate itself from cigarettes because cigarettes are a very different entity than cigars. Cigarettes are what is being attacked in association to children smoking, but because cigars are made of tobacco they are getting lumped in the same tax category- and THAT is becoming more and more of a burden to the industry.

So the new name of the yearly show is now the IPCPR - International Premium Cigar & Pipe Retailers. God, that has no ring to it. But you get the thinking behind it. When the new administration gets into Washington, that SCHIP bill will rear its ugly mug once again and the tobacco companies will be placed in front of the firing squad once again.

The IPCPR (the more I say it, the more I just want to keep saying RTDA) is correct in its assertion that cigars are indeed a different animal than cigarettes. It’s like putting beer into the same category as fine wines. They’re both alcoholic beverages, but that’s where the comparison ends. I’ve personally spoken with Norm Sharpe, president of the Cigar Association of America, and he and his group is lobbying hard to get those in high-ranking positions to recognize this HUGE difference. There is also the irreparable damage the SCHIP bill and other taxes will do to the economies of foreign nations such as Honduras, Nicaragua, and the Dominican Republic. This IS a really big deal, people.

The show is held once a year and everybody who’s anybody in the world of cigars usually shows his face for all to see. Manufacturers, distributors, and service providers to the industry will strut their stuff to retail store owners and buyers of these goods. It’s a crazy event as thousands of stogie sucking dudes descend upon a different city each year. My first was in 1998 at the Opryland convention Center in Nashville, Tennessee. Good God that was amazing. It was at the tail end of the cigar boom and there were like a thousand exhibitors and ten times more attending the show. That place is like an indoor city and I think may be the largest indoor structure in the world. They actually have a river running around it with boat rides for the family. I remember after a long, hard day on the rock hard showroom floor, it took me more than half an hour to walk from one end to the other. What was hysterical is that at the same exact time a beauty convention was going on in there. You had thousands of hot babes strutting their tails about, and thousands of drunken, horny Neanderthals dragging their knuckles and man-musk throughout downtown Nashville each night. What a friggin' debacle.

Now this year's is at the Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas, and of course I will be with the fine peeps from JR from Sunday, July 13 to Wednesday. I’ll hob knob, meet and greet, and rub robustos with the big boys of the industry, and probably ingest about 30 cigars a day – or until signs of black lung set in. When in Rome, baby. I’m sure I’ll also hook up with a lot of friends I’ve made online and through conversations and I’m really looking forward to putting a face to the person – which I always find a strange experience. Don’t you always picture what someone looks like just based on their voice, and then when you meet them it’s like, “Holy crap, you are one ugly f@#k!”

Vegas really is the perfect setting for a gathering such as this one. The gambling aspect is certainly conducive to the cigar smoker’s lifestyle as the testosterone will be imported through in tanker rail cars. It’s Texas Hold ‘Em for me with a smidgeon of black jack and a dab of single malt. I’m just making an educated guess that the Carrot Top show may not be the focus of this boisterous group of chest pounding primates. By the way…does anyone know if they have any strip clubs there?

I’m roaring and ready for the adventure – all except for the five and a half hour plane flight. The airline won’t confirm my seating until 24 hours before and I pray to the Lord I don’t have to sit in the middle of two hairy stinking goons for a quarter of a day. God please no.

I may be actually blogging from the showroom floor, keeping you up to date on all the insane hottest news such as Rocky Patel’s lactose intolerant lunch choices, the new CAO Polandia Cigar (you smoke it from the middle) and how many hat changes the Fuente’s attempt to make in one day.

You can’t make up this kind of excitement.

See ya later, dudes,
Tommy Z.
JR Cigars Blog With the Zman