Getting Down With the Red, White & Blue
Tomorrow is the Fourth of July, Independence Day here in the States and this readership has already proven its love for Man-food and outdoor cooking on fire! I’m sure plenty of you will be charring carcasses, slathering on sauces, and applying the rubs. And, maybe you’ll even do it for cooking purposes you dirty dogs!
I’ve been so busy launching my website and radio show that I haven’t planned a god damned thing. Anybody who wants to come by is welcome for sure. Or anybody who wants to invite a man with overbearing flatulence and Polish mustard stains in the most obscure places - I’ll check my Blackberry. Wait, I don’t have a Blackberry. Yeah, I think we can swing by. I’ll bring some of my new gars!
Burgers and dogs will be pretty standard. I love mayo salads like homemade potato, macaroni, and slaw. But since I got a hold of Steve Raichlen’s amazing book, “How to Grill”, I can’t wait to make brisket and “real” ribs, and his classic, “Beer can chicken.” Now THAT sounds awesome – the chicken sucks in the beer and spices and is so juicy it does a happy ending on you when you jab it with a fork! I guess my explanation leaves something to be desired.
And speaking of franks, the Fourth is famous for none other than Nathan’s hotdog eating championship. Idiots – I mean food athletes from around the world show up on New York’s Coney Island to stuff their faces and stomach’s with freshly grilled, world famous tubesteaks. It’s amazing, but truly a disgusting and disturbing sight. Last year America’s very own Joey Chestnut finally knocked off the reining champ from Japan, Takeru Kobayashi, by wolfing 66 weinies in 12 minutes, smashing Kobay’s record by eleven dogs! The Japanese warrior held the title for a number of years but claimed a jaw injury held him from repeating in 2007. Rumor has it that the Samurai of sausage has been training with Jenna Jameson to heal that injury and take in several big wieners at a time.
You know, there really is an organization called the IFOCE, International Federation of Compeititve Eating (www.ifoce.com). There’s also the MLE, Major League Eating (www.mle.com) where you can see grotesque videos of people jamming all types of foods down their pie holes, all for the hopes of glory and a commercial deal from Alka Seltzer. There’s also a list of record holders around the globe. Get this one - Baked Beans - Six Pounds of Baked Beans in One Minute, 48 Seconds by Dandy Don Lerman. I guess the first thing we can assume is that Don’s heart is in tip top shape, and I’m sure his undergarments are made of a composite Kevlar. Then there’s the record for most Buffet items consumed - 5 1/2 pounds of buffet food in 12 minutes by Crazy Legs Conti – who is also known as irritable bowel syndrome Conti. Two Pounds of Chocolate Candy Bars were consumed in 6 minutes by Eric Booker who also downed 49 glazed doughnuts in eight minutes. Eric just hangs out the following six months while relaxing in his diabetic coma. Then there’s our hero, Joey Chestnut who also gobbled 7.5 pounds of Buffalo wings in 12 minutes and 182 wings in 30 minutes! JC also did 118 jalapeno poppers in ten minutes. He's also no doubt a proponent of Don Lerman’s fire-proof bvd’s!
And of course we must remember that we are celebrating our independence from those repressive bloody British bastids by having guys from Italy shoot off fireworks from China, while we smoke cigars from Honduras, Nicaragua, and the Dominican Republic. I don’t know what it is, but NOTHING is more nostalgic to me than watching a fireworks show. I feel like a little kid as the memories of childhood are so alive and vivid. Think of what a state inducer the whole concept really is – a true anchor into the subconscious –the multiple explosions, the sounds, the colors and of course, the grand finally. Everyone is cheering and having a great ol’ time! Maybe we should do this everyday…celebrate life and living in the moment – not a bad concept, I say.
Enjoy your holiday, dudes. I’ll have some smokes picked out for you in tomorrow’s blog that should make the weekend a relaxing one for sure.
Take good care guys,
Tommy Z.
JR Cigars Blog With the Zman
I’ve been so busy launching my website and radio show that I haven’t planned a god damned thing. Anybody who wants to come by is welcome for sure. Or anybody who wants to invite a man with overbearing flatulence and Polish mustard stains in the most obscure places - I’ll check my Blackberry. Wait, I don’t have a Blackberry. Yeah, I think we can swing by. I’ll bring some of my new gars!
Burgers and dogs will be pretty standard. I love mayo salads like homemade potato, macaroni, and slaw. But since I got a hold of Steve Raichlen’s amazing book, “How to Grill”, I can’t wait to make brisket and “real” ribs, and his classic, “Beer can chicken.” Now THAT sounds awesome – the chicken sucks in the beer and spices and is so juicy it does a happy ending on you when you jab it with a fork! I guess my explanation leaves something to be desired.
And speaking of franks, the Fourth is famous for none other than Nathan’s hotdog eating championship. Idiots – I mean food athletes from around the world show up on New York’s Coney Island to stuff their faces and stomach’s with freshly grilled, world famous tubesteaks. It’s amazing, but truly a disgusting and disturbing sight. Last year America’s very own Joey Chestnut finally knocked off the reining champ from Japan, Takeru Kobayashi, by wolfing 66 weinies in 12 minutes, smashing Kobay’s record by eleven dogs! The Japanese warrior held the title for a number of years but claimed a jaw injury held him from repeating in 2007. Rumor has it that the Samurai of sausage has been training with Jenna Jameson to heal that injury and take in several big wieners at a time.
You know, there really is an organization called the IFOCE, International Federation of Compeititve Eating (www.ifoce.com). There’s also the MLE, Major League Eating (www.mle.com) where you can see grotesque videos of people jamming all types of foods down their pie holes, all for the hopes of glory and a commercial deal from Alka Seltzer. There’s also a list of record holders around the globe. Get this one - Baked Beans - Six Pounds of Baked Beans in One Minute, 48 Seconds by Dandy Don Lerman. I guess the first thing we can assume is that Don’s heart is in tip top shape, and I’m sure his undergarments are made of a composite Kevlar. Then there’s the record for most Buffet items consumed - 5 1/2 pounds of buffet food in 12 minutes by Crazy Legs Conti – who is also known as irritable bowel syndrome Conti. Two Pounds of Chocolate Candy Bars were consumed in 6 minutes by Eric Booker who also downed 49 glazed doughnuts in eight minutes. Eric just hangs out the following six months while relaxing in his diabetic coma. Then there’s our hero, Joey Chestnut who also gobbled 7.5 pounds of Buffalo wings in 12 minutes and 182 wings in 30 minutes! JC also did 118 jalapeno poppers in ten minutes. He's also no doubt a proponent of Don Lerman’s fire-proof bvd’s!
And of course we must remember that we are celebrating our independence from those repressive bloody British bastids by having guys from Italy shoot off fireworks from China, while we smoke cigars from Honduras, Nicaragua, and the Dominican Republic. I don’t know what it is, but NOTHING is more nostalgic to me than watching a fireworks show. I feel like a little kid as the memories of childhood are so alive and vivid. Think of what a state inducer the whole concept really is – a true anchor into the subconscious –the multiple explosions, the sounds, the colors and of course, the grand finally. Everyone is cheering and having a great ol’ time! Maybe we should do this everyday…celebrate life and living in the moment – not a bad concept, I say.
Enjoy your holiday, dudes. I’ll have some smokes picked out for you in tomorrow’s blog that should make the weekend a relaxing one for sure.
Take good care guys,
Tommy Z.
JR Cigars Blog With the Zman
Posted by zman at 10:40 AM | Link | 10 comments
Subscription Options
You are not logged in, so your subscription status for this entry is unknown. You can login or register here.
Re: Getting Down With the Red, White & Blue
This book : Steve Raichlen’s “How to Grill”, IS the most interesting and instructive book about grilling on EARTH ! ...and even a man can use it ! lol.
Nice comment about the fireworks ZMan... I, too, feel nostalgic to pieces when I see one...reminds me ALL the colors of childhood, all the scents of summer back then, all the pleasures back when our minds were free from too many thoughts and responsibilities.
Now...how can I register a husband to the MAJOR league of hotdogs eaters ???? lol We sure have a winner, I'm telling you !
Happy 4th of July to all of you !
Nice comment about the fireworks ZMan... I, too, feel nostalgic to pieces when I see one...reminds me ALL the colors of childhood, all the scents of summer back then, all the pleasures back when our minds were free from too many thoughts and responsibilities.
Now...how can I register a husband to the MAJOR league of hotdogs eaters ???? lol We sure have a winner, I'm telling you !
Happy 4th of July to all of you !
Posted by Lucie on July 3, 2008 at 11:38 AM
Re: Getting Down With the Red, White & Blue
LOL - that whole "competitive eating" think makes me nauseous. I've watched it a coupla times on TV, and it's friggin' repulsive! What a joke that they EVEN have the stones to joke about it being an "athletic" event. Why not be honest and call it a FREAK SHOW instead?
I think they should make those "contests" last a week and if they guy hurls, he loses. THAT would be a REAL contest. They could base the contest on whoever took the biggest total dump. Now if you ask me, that's a little more MANLY.
As for fireworks... Having lived all my life in the farking DESERT, it's hard to get worked up about going out in the BLAZING HEAT and sweating for house and hours just for 5-10 minutes of sparkling lights.
Hearing you guys be all nostalgic about it makes me wish I lived somewhere where it was habitable this time of year so maybe I could actually ENJOY the fireworks! Instead, I'll enjoy the 4th in front of my air conditioner, thank you very much.
I think they should make those "contests" last a week and if they guy hurls, he loses. THAT would be a REAL contest. They could base the contest on whoever took the biggest total dump. Now if you ask me, that's a little more MANLY.
As for fireworks... Having lived all my life in the farking DESERT, it's hard to get worked up about going out in the BLAZING HEAT and sweating for house and hours just for 5-10 minutes of sparkling lights.
Hearing you guys be all nostalgic about it makes me wish I lived somewhere where it was habitable this time of year so maybe I could actually ENJOY the fireworks! Instead, I'll enjoy the 4th in front of my air conditioner, thank you very much.
Posted by cottygee on July 3, 2008 at 11:53 AM
Re: Getting Down With the Red, White & Blue
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holiday weekend. I'm looking forward to some good cookouts, cold beer and great cigars. I'm starting tonight with a visit to a local minor league baseball game that is also a military appreciation night followed by fireworks. Lately I've been having some thoughts about July 4th and it's disturbing to think that while we are the beacon of freedom throught the world we still suffer some of the same types of government oversight that caused the break from Britain. Food for thought.
Posted by Brian W on July 3, 2008 at 1:53 PM
Re: Getting Down With the Red, White & Blue
Maybe we should send the guy that ate all of the baked beans over to Iraq? Special Forces would be an understatement!
- CiC
- CiC
Posted by Charles in Charge on July 3, 2008 at 2:03 PM
Re: Getting Down With the Red, White & Blue
Where the hell is everybody?
Posted by zman on July 3, 2008 at 2:36 PM
Re: Getting Down With the Red, White & Blue
Getting ready for tomorrow goof!!!!! Out to get some briquettes for the grill for the ribs.... My brother's bringing the beer and such.
Posted by denahue on July 3, 2008 at 2:45 PM
Re: Getting Down With the Red, White & Blue
The Nathan's hotdog championship is tomorrow at noon on ESPN.
Posted by Benito on July 3, 2008 at 2:49 PM
Re: Getting Down With the Red, White & Blue
Got some hot and sweet sausages for the grill, Z.
And a new bundle of JR Alternative Limited Edicions.
Life is freakin awesome! Have a great 4th everybody!
And a new bundle of JR Alternative Limited Edicions.
Life is freakin awesome! Have a great 4th everybody!
Posted by Johnny Boy Soprano on July 3, 2008 at 2:51 PM
Re: Getting Down With the Red, White & Blue
The closing sentence of the Declaration of Independence...
"And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor."
This is why we are whom we are.
Happy 4th to all! (Barkeep, Brew and Smokes on the house!)
"And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor."
This is why we are whom we are.
Happy 4th to all! (Barkeep, Brew and Smokes on the house!)
Posted by trooper284 on July 4, 2008 at 9:26 AM
Re: Getting Down With the Red, White & Blue
Rock on, brothers!
Posted by zman on July 4, 2008 at 9:58 AM
Commenting has been disabled for this entry.