Why Can’t 2…
Why Can’t Reverend Jeremiah Wright just shut the f@#k up, go away and enjoy a nice, quiet retirement?
The former leader of the Trinity United Church of Christ is on a whirlwind tour, speaking his mind and THAT is a very scary thing. What I’m having trouble figuring out is - is he for or against Barrack Obama? - because every time he flaps his gums, Obama’s approval rating drops. Look up the definition of the word “divisive” and the smiling Rev’s picture is there for all to see. If you’ve seen video of his sermons then you know the man preaches hate, racism, and bigotry. He claims his critics are twisting his sermons for political gain, but again, if you watch him in action, his anti-white and anti-American tirades (including the fact that he believes the government has spread AIDS within the black communities to keep “his people” down) are the rantings of a certified sociopathic lunatic. Yesterday Obama released a statement basically saying that, “I don’t speak for him and he doesn’t speak for me.” Too late for damage control my man, cuz this blaze is burnin’ down da house.
Why Can’t fast food sandwiches like a Big Mac or a Whopper look all big and fluffy and pretty like they do on TV?
Every burger I’ve ever bought since childhood looks like Shirley and Rerun from What’s Happenin’ sat on it.
Why Can’t Rosie O’donnell at least put on a little make up?
Every time one of her annoying home made You Tube or blog clips is featured on some TV show, she’s always wearing a mumu and a bandana on her head, with her pasty white skin and dark circles under her eyes like she just went three rounds with Lennox Lewis. And there’s always a group of over-the-top gay guys hanging out with her, flitting around her apartment doing Ethel Merman impersonations. And it’s always when I’m eating. Can’t someone from Revlon pay that butch a visit?
Why Can’t I play golf like Tiger Woods?
Jeez, I putt, chip, hit from the practice tees, damn, I even lust for wicked hot blonde Swedish broads - I mean what the hell? From 200 yards out I’m using a 5 wood and that bastid has a 9 iron in his hands. What gives? I’ve been playing golf since before you were born you little prick, but nooooo, you’ve won 64 PGA tour events and the best I’ve ever done was twelfth place in our yearly Board of Ed fundraiser. Yeah, great, you just turn your nose up at me you high-brow snob-ass elitist. I hope you choke on your hundreds of millions.
Why Can’t Al Goreknob explain why it’ll be the month of May in two days and it’s still in the 50’s in north east United States? Must have something to do with those twelve million football fields of floating ice. Someone please break out a Sanford marker and paint an “L” on Chicken Little’s head.
Why Can’t gorgeous young woman with incredible bodies see the inner beauty of older, overweight, stogie sucking men?
It’s all just so shallow.
Why Can’t company’s like Padron, La Aurora, Davidoff, and Zino, etc, bring their $20 cigars down to around eight or nine bucks?
I saw first hand how cigars are made. I walked the fields, inspected the barns, toured the factories and met the personnel. They’re not using magical leaf cultivated on Saturn and carefully blended with exotic fairy dust. Now I’m not talking about the manufacturers who do use a vintage crop like Macanudo does for their 2000 Vintage line. That cigar is a certified eight years old and one of the finest I’ve smoked in a very long time. The wrapper is impeccable and it is complex and bursting with delicious tobacco flavors. – Highly recommended you try at east one. - I’m referring to the aforementioned companies who put out some really nice cigars, but the price points are not what they “need” to be. I love Padron Anniversarios, both the 64’s and the 26’s, but I only buy them on special occasions. If they were in the $8 - $9 range I’d smoke them all of the time. Unless the Padron’s and the others do have a tobacco fairy on the payroll, they shouldn’t be hammering their customers when it’s not necessary. As an ex-advertising guy, I can tell you that they’re going for the “perceived value” thing and many out there are gobbling it up with a spoon. It’s all just marketing BS, my friends.
Oh my God… I’m starting to sound like Lew.
Til tomorrow My Peeps,
Tommy Z.
JR Cigar Blog with the Zman
The former leader of the Trinity United Church of Christ is on a whirlwind tour, speaking his mind and THAT is a very scary thing. What I’m having trouble figuring out is - is he for or against Barrack Obama? - because every time he flaps his gums, Obama’s approval rating drops. Look up the definition of the word “divisive” and the smiling Rev’s picture is there for all to see. If you’ve seen video of his sermons then you know the man preaches hate, racism, and bigotry. He claims his critics are twisting his sermons for political gain, but again, if you watch him in action, his anti-white and anti-American tirades (including the fact that he believes the government has spread AIDS within the black communities to keep “his people” down) are the rantings of a certified sociopathic lunatic. Yesterday Obama released a statement basically saying that, “I don’t speak for him and he doesn’t speak for me.” Too late for damage control my man, cuz this blaze is burnin’ down da house.
Why Can’t fast food sandwiches like a Big Mac or a Whopper look all big and fluffy and pretty like they do on TV?
Every burger I’ve ever bought since childhood looks like Shirley and Rerun from What’s Happenin’ sat on it.
Why Can’t Rosie O’donnell at least put on a little make up?
Every time one of her annoying home made You Tube or blog clips is featured on some TV show, she’s always wearing a mumu and a bandana on her head, with her pasty white skin and dark circles under her eyes like she just went three rounds with Lennox Lewis. And there’s always a group of over-the-top gay guys hanging out with her, flitting around her apartment doing Ethel Merman impersonations. And it’s always when I’m eating. Can’t someone from Revlon pay that butch a visit?
Why Can’t I play golf like Tiger Woods?
Jeez, I putt, chip, hit from the practice tees, damn, I even lust for wicked hot blonde Swedish broads - I mean what the hell? From 200 yards out I’m using a 5 wood and that bastid has a 9 iron in his hands. What gives? I’ve been playing golf since before you were born you little prick, but nooooo, you’ve won 64 PGA tour events and the best I’ve ever done was twelfth place in our yearly Board of Ed fundraiser. Yeah, great, you just turn your nose up at me you high-brow snob-ass elitist. I hope you choke on your hundreds of millions.
Why Can’t Al Goreknob explain why it’ll be the month of May in two days and it’s still in the 50’s in north east United States? Must have something to do with those twelve million football fields of floating ice. Someone please break out a Sanford marker and paint an “L” on Chicken Little’s head.
Why Can’t gorgeous young woman with incredible bodies see the inner beauty of older, overweight, stogie sucking men?
It’s all just so shallow.
Why Can’t company’s like Padron, La Aurora, Davidoff, and Zino, etc, bring their $20 cigars down to around eight or nine bucks?
I saw first hand how cigars are made. I walked the fields, inspected the barns, toured the factories and met the personnel. They’re not using magical leaf cultivated on Saturn and carefully blended with exotic fairy dust. Now I’m not talking about the manufacturers who do use a vintage crop like Macanudo does for their 2000 Vintage line. That cigar is a certified eight years old and one of the finest I’ve smoked in a very long time. The wrapper is impeccable and it is complex and bursting with delicious tobacco flavors. – Highly recommended you try at east one. - I’m referring to the aforementioned companies who put out some really nice cigars, but the price points are not what they “need” to be. I love Padron Anniversarios, both the 64’s and the 26’s, but I only buy them on special occasions. If they were in the $8 - $9 range I’d smoke them all of the time. Unless the Padron’s and the others do have a tobacco fairy on the payroll, they shouldn’t be hammering their customers when it’s not necessary. As an ex-advertising guy, I can tell you that they’re going for the “perceived value” thing and many out there are gobbling it up with a spoon. It’s all just marketing BS, my friends.
Oh my God… I’m starting to sound like Lew.
Til tomorrow My Peeps,
Tommy Z.
JR Cigar Blog with the Zman
Posted by zman at 10:56 AM | Link | 25 comments
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Re: Why Can’t 2…
Hey Z -
You know what the difference is between an $8 cigar and a $2 cigar? Well, I have it on GOOD AUTHORITY that the difference is six bucks! This authority is a TRUE EXPERT (one that smokes Trues mostly. lol)
Why did my electric bill go up when I new air conditioners installed last summer? Why is it going to be 110ºF in the shade here in a few weeks? Why can't I eat how I ate when I was 20 and not gain weight? Why do I have to work so many hours a week for so many years, and why don't I get six weeks of paid vacation a year and work 32 hours a week like they do in France? Why does the work day pass more slowly on Fridays than on any other day of the week? Conversely, why do Saturdays FLY BY at mach 1? Why do I have to waste so much of my life being unconscious? Just THINK what I could accomplish if I didn't have to sleep, eat, crap or piss?
Oh my God… I’m starting to sound like Tommy.
You know what the difference is between an $8 cigar and a $2 cigar? Well, I have it on GOOD AUTHORITY that the difference is six bucks! This authority is a TRUE EXPERT (one that smokes Trues mostly. lol)
Why did my electric bill go up when I new air conditioners installed last summer? Why is it going to be 110ºF in the shade here in a few weeks? Why can't I eat how I ate when I was 20 and not gain weight? Why do I have to work so many hours a week for so many years, and why don't I get six weeks of paid vacation a year and work 32 hours a week like they do in France? Why does the work day pass more slowly on Fridays than on any other day of the week? Conversely, why do Saturdays FLY BY at mach 1? Why do I have to waste so much of my life being unconscious? Just THINK what I could accomplish if I didn't have to sleep, eat, crap or piss?
Oh my God… I’m starting to sound like Tommy.
Posted by cottygee on April 29, 2008 at 11:20 AM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
Should Obama get the nomination, Wright should be his running mate. It'd be like Sanford and Son.
You can't expect a 15-year-old with acne to prepare anything that looks palatable.
I checked out Rosie's website and no amount of Revlon will help. She's another Oprah. What's the attraction?
Tiger doesn't really drive a Buick either.
We're so green, we're causing global cooling.
Gorgeous, young women ARE shallow, and the fantasy is far better than the reality. Trust me.
Since I can't afford Padron, I'm looking for cheaper cigars that compare to Maria Mancini. Still asking for suggestions...
You can't expect a 15-year-old with acne to prepare anything that looks palatable.
I checked out Rosie's website and no amount of Revlon will help. She's another Oprah. What's the attraction?
Tiger doesn't really drive a Buick either.
We're so green, we're causing global cooling.
Gorgeous, young women ARE shallow, and the fantasy is far better than the reality. Trust me.
Since I can't afford Padron, I'm looking for cheaper cigars that compare to Maria Mancini. Still asking for suggestions...
Posted by pjandma on April 29, 2008 at 12:29 PM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
- Why can't they have pay per view like hildebeast and obama thrown off the golden gate bridge with a cement mixer tied around their neck.
- Why can't the have reality tv like Rachael Ray - naked cooking.
PJ
Never had a mancini so I can't help. But look at the JR alternatives - I found their macanudo rothschild alternative is very good. Biggest difference I found in the original and the alternatives is the alternative isn't rolled as well.
- Why can't the have reality tv like Rachael Ray - naked cooking.
PJ
Never had a mancini so I can't help. But look at the JR alternatives - I found their macanudo rothschild alternative is very good. Biggest difference I found in the original and the alternatives is the alternative isn't rolled as well.
Posted by dodger_fan on April 29, 2008 at 12:40 PM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
Why can't we all just get along? Gorgeous young women are attracted to overweight, stogie sucking men but the stogies have to cost $20 a piece!
Posted by Brian W on April 29, 2008 at 12:47 PM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
Why don't you write something on the NFL draft? I think the World Champion New York Football Giants did pretty good, considering where they picked. Time will tell, obviously, but I think they got some players for spots where they need them.
Or, you could just go on ranting like you have so far this week. Your choice.
Or, you could just go on ranting like you have so far this week. Your choice.
Posted by Garfiend on April 29, 2008 at 12:57 PM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
Thank you Garfiend, I appreciate the choices you've laid out for me.
Posted by zman on April 29, 2008 at 1:31 PM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
LOL on the "starting to sound like Lew." I swear, two-thirds into that one, I was thinking, "Is this the catalog copy for Lew's Smokers?"
"Rachael Ray - naked cooking," dodger? I can't wait to hear Tommy's reaction to that one.
"Rachael Ray - naked cooking," dodger? I can't wait to hear Tommy's reaction to that one.
Posted by hawaiian brian on April 29, 2008 at 2:09 PM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
Cotty,
If you didn't have to sleep, eat, crap or piss, you could spend all that time learning French so you could move to France and have all those things your heart desires. Of course, you'd be in France, surrounded by Frenchmen, but you can't win 'em all.
If you didn't have to sleep, eat, crap or piss, you could spend all that time learning French so you could move to France and have all those things your heart desires. Of course, you'd be in France, surrounded by Frenchmen, but you can't win 'em all.
Posted by roadlizard7 on April 29, 2008 at 2:09 PM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
You can get Davidoffs for about $2 a piece. They're called Private Stock - long filler. The only difference is that they are rolled with "ungraded tobaccos", (whatever that means). Awesome smoke. Now we just need to get Lew to stock 'em.
Posted by roadlizard7 on April 29, 2008 at 2:14 PM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
Tiger Woods is just a better putter than you are.
Lesbians don't wear makeup.
Gorgeous young women with incredible bodies are typically about 19-23 years old. They say 19 year olds can kill you, but I say, "What a way to go!"
Lesbians don't wear makeup.
Gorgeous young women with incredible bodies are typically about 19-23 years old. They say 19 year olds can kill you, but I say, "What a way to go!"
Posted by roadlizard7 on April 29, 2008 at 2:20 PM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
This just might be the most educational site on the internet.
Posted by V-Twin Vern on April 29, 2008 at 2:32 PM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
That reverend is a piece of garbage and he's making an ass out of himself everytime he talks. But I'm sure that right now Hillary is loving the fuggin guy! LMAO!
Posted by Johnny Boy Soprano on April 29, 2008 at 2:53 PM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
Shirley from What's Happenin' was hot.
Posted by Trogladyte on April 29, 2008 at 3:06 PM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
Of course she is. Fat people are always hot. Rerun was pretty hot himself, most of the time, would be my guess.
Posted by briandg on April 29, 2008 at 3:32 PM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
You know it's funny - woman generally want an older, more mature man with money to take care of them.
Men want a young 24 year old with big cans to take care of them.
Men want a young 24 year old with big cans to take care of them.
Posted by zman on April 29, 2008 at 4:42 PM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
C'mon Guys,
I've gotten a couple suggestions so far. How about a few more?
I just bought two that are new to me on the auction -
H. Upmann 1844 Lonsdale and Remedios Corona Gorda
Winning bids are usually cheaper than the JR price!
I've gotten a couple suggestions so far. How about a few more?
I just bought two that are new to me on the auction -
H. Upmann 1844 Lonsdale and Remedios Corona Gorda
Winning bids are usually cheaper than the JR price!
Posted by pjandma on April 29, 2008 at 5:05 PM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
PJ,
I'm sure a number of us would be glad to make some recommendations to you, but very few of us have ever tried a Maria Mancini, so don't know what it is that you're looking for. I tried one a couple of years ago in a tasting for Cigar magazine (Zman's other employer), but it didn't make much of an impression on me.
Can you enlighten us as to what type of tobaccos and flavor profile you prefer?
I'm sure a number of us would be glad to make some recommendations to you, but very few of us have ever tried a Maria Mancini, so don't know what it is that you're looking for. I tried one a couple of years ago in a tasting for Cigar magazine (Zman's other employer), but it didn't make much of an impression on me.
Can you enlighten us as to what type of tobaccos and flavor profile you prefer?
Posted by roadlizard7 on April 29, 2008 at 5:21 PM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
Liz,
The Mancini Natural wrapper is spicy while the Maduro is more earthy, but both are smooth and burn with a dense smoke. I usually prefer the Maduro. They are very similar to some Cubans I've tried and inexpensive.
The Mancini Natural wrapper is spicy while the Maduro is more earthy, but both are smooth and burn with a dense smoke. I usually prefer the Maduro. They are very similar to some Cubans I've tried and inexpensive.
Posted by pjandma on April 29, 2008 at 5:39 PM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
PJ,
For a pleasant, fairly mild maduro at a good price, try the Gispert. The natural is not as spicy as the MM, if I recall. JR sells 'em.
For a pleasant, fairly mild maduro at a good price, try the Gispert. The natural is not as spicy as the MM, if I recall. JR sells 'em.
Posted by roadlizard7 on April 29, 2008 at 5:44 PM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
roadlizard7 said it best:
Gorgeous young women with incredible bodies are typically about 19-23 years old. They say 19 year olds can kill you, but I say, "What a way to go!"
I've been married over 50 years to the same woman. BOTL - Do you know what it's like to wake up next to a 70 year old woman every morning???
Ah, guess she could say the same thing about waking up next to me.
Gorgeous young women with incredible bodies are typically about 19-23 years old. They say 19 year olds can kill you, but I say, "What a way to go!"
I've been married over 50 years to the same woman. BOTL - Do you know what it's like to wake up next to a 70 year old woman every morning???
Ah, guess she could say the same thing about waking up next to me.
Posted by old timer on April 29, 2008 at 6:20 PM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
old timer, I'd be glad just to wake up!
Posted by hawaiian brian on April 29, 2008 at 7:16 PM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
Now that is some funny shit, from old timer. And I know his wife so I'm in on this bit, folks.
Posted by zman on April 29, 2008 at 10:32 PM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
Is Rosie still around anymore? I hear ya on the Al Goreknob global warming thing. It was 32 degrees when I walked out of the house this morning.
Posted by Darren in Detroit on April 30, 2008 at 7:32 AM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
Yeah, old timer, and at least you didn't have to go to sleep next to a hairy ass every nite!
Posted by dodger_fan on April 30, 2008 at 8:21 AM
Re: Why Can’t 2…
Why Can’t gorgeous young woman with incredible bodies see the inner beauty of older, overweight, stogie sucking men?
It’s all just so shallow.
They don't? That explains why they don't return my phone calls or give me numbers that start with 555. :)
It’s all just so shallow.
They don't? That explains why they don't return my phone calls or give me numbers that start with 555. :)
Posted by Zig2k143 on April 30, 2008 at 12:53 PM
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