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Tommy Z is a humorist who grew up in the bowels of New Jersey, parented by an eccentric Polish father and a neurotic Italian mother. With that kind of upbringing, what else could this man possibly be other than a humorist? Tom is also a well-known feature writer for Cigar Magazine and other national publications.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this site are strictly those of the Zman. The contents of this site have not been reviewed or approved by JRCigars.com.
22 April 2008
The Ball’s in Our Court
Today my little group flies into San Pedro Sula, Honduras as Central America readies itself for the Polish invasion of the most righteous Zman. A parade complete with entertainers, floats and flower girls are expected to greet the blogging giant of the cigar world. Yes, it’s good to be the King. (God, I am so full of shit and full of myself. But if I don’t do it, who will?)

I’ve been reading a lot of really annoying stories lately about the new trend where the politically correct do-gooders of the world are now banning both dodge ball and the game of tag from school gym class and recess. The PC crowd has to protect everyone from any kind of possible mental or physical harm. If just one person is offended then everyone must become part of the bland and milquetoast society that the PCers see fit.

This is just awful and outright asinine. Dodge balls didn’t get any harder and today’s kids aren’t all jacked up on steroids, hurling the rubber sphere at breakneck speeds. The game has been played for a
hundred years and all of us were either in the circle of death, trying to avoid the humiliation of being nailed – or we were the lucky ones with the ball, looking to cream the tortoise-like fat kid who simply
had no where to run and no where to hide. Sure it can be a little rough, but god damn it, so is the world – and when life fires a large rubber ball at your dome are you gonna just lay there and cry like a
wounded feeb or are you gonna grow a pair and fire back? I didn’t intend to make this dodgeball / life analogy, but I think it has merit. But the damned PC f@#kers don’t. Protect everyone – no one must ever be hurt. How the hell can our kids gain any character if they don’t face a little “non-life threatening” adversity? Getting knocked down enables one to get back up and realize that yes, you can get back up.


And now the game of tag is being outlawed in grade schools. Unfortunately, the game requires that someone has to be “IT”. God help us and god forbid that someone is IT. One child has been singled out from the herd and can only be part of society again until he or she tags someone else and make that poor and wretched soul, IT. Lord in heaven what kind of unholy barbarians are we to single out an innocent citizen and make him earn his way back into the colony by use of his cunning and his fight or flight reflexes? According to the politically correct, absolutely NO ONE should face the shame of being IT and be forced to stand up for himself. That’s just not fair… Lord, that’s just so unfair.

God damn those who roll with the pussies of the PC crowd. Life isn’t fair for crissakes and when you get the proverbial red rubber ball to the kidneys or someone decides that you’re IT, you’re going to have to fight back, defend yourself, swing for the fences or run like hell. This nation was founded by a bunch of rebel SOB’s who had it with the Red Coats and their bullying ways. Our founding fathers picked up that ball and fired back, nailing those oppressive pricks in he sack and then stood up in their faces and screamed out, “You’re IT!”

I urge you all to stand up to the oppression of the politically correct who are also the ones who are trying to take our cigars away. Tell ‘em where you’re gonna cram that big ol’ dodge ball if hey even try.

Until tomorrow, the Worldly Traveler bids you Adieu,

Tommy Z.
JR Cigar Blog With the Zman
Posted by admin at 8:28 AM | Link | 23 comments
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Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
Zman, that club is beautiful! Thanks for the virtual tour.

Some years back I worked for a company that shall remain nameless - we'll just refer to it as Big Blue. That place was PC from the CEO down to the janitors. There were so many rules, any time somebody was offended they ran to teir boss and the next thing you knew that individuals "rights" were being protected by a new rule. In the end, you know what? Everybody had so many "rights" that NOBODY had any rights. It's the truth. Like my Polish father-in-law says - everytime you make a new law - you just make new criminals.
Posted by dodger_fan on April 22, 2008 at 8:47 AM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
Great post on the friggin PC crowd, I hate the bastids....

who the hell are they to tell us where and when we can smoke. if you own a Restaurant it should be up to you if you want to allow smoking, it also should be up to you if you want to wear a seatbelt or a helmet when riding a motorcyle....Where the hell are the pro choicers when it comes to this, shit they're there for ABORTION on demand crowd.........

I am like you Z I hate career politicians.........

About the dodegball and tag, what a joke...it just amazes me..you know what else I hate, my 2 boys they are 11 and 8, they get a trophy just for playing a sport, when we were kids we had to win first place to get a trophy and it frigging meant something....(damn mommies don't want their kids feelings hurt, they may have to go back on the ritalin)..............I believe my older boy is now realizing this, he came in first place with his baseball team and got a trophy for it...and it now is the only one on his shelf in his bedroom.............Fruits of labor

Anyway hope you are having a wonderful and safe time, I visit regularly but don't post a whole lot.......but I enjoy the rants from all you Bastids....

great times from Metro Detroit where the weather is warmer and I can now sit in my yard and piss the neighbors off with my Churchills...........good smoking to ya........

GO WINGS
Posted by aqualung on April 22, 2008 at 9:26 AM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
Welcome to America...Land of the PC and Home of the Pussies! Is this to be our legacy? What's next? Ban Duck,Duck,Goose in Nursery School! Damn...what will these freakin' liberals do with the NFL and NHL if given the chance? It's time to stand up and fight back before it goes much further. Time to take school board elections more seriously! A final note for Z-Man...drink some water while you're on the trip and you won't be so full of shit!
Posted by Brian W on April 22, 2008 at 9:32 AM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
I liked dodgeball. I was the skinny kid who'd stand there and let the big dudes throw the ball at me. I'd get down low and catch the ball (and have the welts on the chest to prove it). After awhile, they wouldn't throw it at me anymore. I got street cred for it.

Dodgeball makes men.
Posted by Darren in Detroit on April 22, 2008 at 9:52 AM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzz.........
Posted by Garfiend on April 22, 2008 at 9:59 AM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
Finally Zman admits what the rest of us have known for a long time, "I am so full of shit and full of myself". But at least he's got the cajones to own up to it.

Garfiend, go sleep somewhere else; your snoring is obnoxious and keeping the rest of us awake.

Next thing you know, the PC crowd will ban tic-tac-toe, because ties can be frustrating to some children.

Zman, please take some pictures and movies of the parade for us, okay?

Have fun ya Italian bastid! (Why should your old man get all the credit?)
Posted by roadlizard7 on April 22, 2008 at 10:14 AM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
We're running late this morning. It's 10:30 eastern time and I'm hanging at General Cigar in Santiago. The most amazing operation I've ever seen. You cannot imagine what goes into this entire operation. I've got some great pix, too.

I'll blog tomorrow on the advenutre so far. It'll be brief because there's just Waaaaaaaay too much to tell. At least I'm being treated like royalty and I haven't crapped my brains out, so all is peachy.

Heading to San Pedro Sula, Honduras shortly. And Garfiend, STFU you cretin.

The Domincanas don't know what Dodgeball is and there is NO political correctness here whatsoever.

Later Dudes,
Zman
Posted by Zman on April 22, 2008 at 10:32 AM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
I am IT at work and have been for over 15 years now. Being IT means you have the knowledge. Having the knowledge gives you power. Being IT is good.

We couldn't afford a ball to play dodge ball with when I grew up, but there were plenty of dirt clods in the field to use. Talk about learning how to move fast. LOL

aqualung, the trophy bit hits the matter on the head better than anything said today.
Posted by robert on April 22, 2008 at 10:39 AM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
Roadliz you're right, Zman really is more Italian than polish. And yeah, he's full of it etc etc

When my daughter played softball NO ONE was allowed a trophy cuz the losers would feel bad. The second year I coached we finished in first place and I bought the entire team trophies out of my own pocket f#%%k the PC bastids!
Posted by dodger_fan on April 22, 2008 at 11:21 AM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
I'm the farthest thing possible from PC most of the time, but I just gotta argue against the dodge ball analogy.

You don't have a fair crowd at a school. If it was just a game of dodge ball, fine. If it was just getting passed over for baseball, fine. Unfortunately, kids ain't got even a hint of a moral compass. Dodge ball is just a part of a pattern that includes every possible way of grinding the unpopular kids into the damned ground. Fighting back gets you ground further. We had a kid when I was growing up that was a perfect example of this whole thing, he was messed up somehow, and it was a goal in life for most of the people in the school to destroy every chance of happiness for him. Once, honest to god, a group of losers offered to pay him ten bucks if he'd eat a booger. Well, ten bucks was a lot. he did it. So, that made for years of fun for the rest of the school, and dammit, they never even paid him for it. Where are these losers now? Well, at least a few of them are serving time, one is in a federal prison.

Kids are rotten, evil little bastards who will do anything, and there aren't any people who will give the losers a reason to live. It ain't dodge ball, it's the blistering, paint peeling desire to cause pain to the losers.

In the rest of life, it's not like that. There are people who suck, there are bad situations, but not very many situations are so bad that the entire world is out to ruin every little bit of your life, like brad's was. Even his parents despised him; giving birth to a "retard" wasn't fair to them, they always figured.
Posted by briandg on April 22, 2008 at 12:01 PM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
Preach, Brother...
I agree. One addition:
Sometimes I'm the loser and sometimes I'm on top, just depends on which pond I'm swimming in. The big fish in one pond might be the whimp in the next pond. I'm nearing 50 and just went paintballing with a group of young, college-age men. I have welts on my ass, forehead and all over. I was the last one picked for most of the games and it hurt, but that's life. I still had a blast and got some good shots in. Lighten up, it's all just a game, we all lose at the end. Peace to us all.
Posted by pjandma on April 22, 2008 at 12:21 PM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
I just took my lunch break and spent it reading the newspaper. Even the damn comics are PC - complete with earth day reminders for today. The freaking world has gone crazy!
Posted by dodger_fan on April 22, 2008 at 12:50 PM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
Hmm. Dodgeball. I was usually one of the first guys to get picked off, but was always glad when I saw that last guy on the team, dodging balls from EVERYBODY, and thinking, "I'm glad I'm not him."

You know, slightly off topic, but I guess today is Earth Day. We should all celebrate by smoking our favorite cigar. After all, it's an all-natural product, completely biodegradable, and I do hear tell that the butts make a good mulch component because the tobacco helps to keep bugs away from your plants. You can even sit outside, puffing as people pass by and say, "I'm doing my part, what are YOU doing to save the Earth?"
Posted by hawaiian brian on April 22, 2008 at 2:00 PM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
Brian W. hit it out of the park....its the f---king liberals.. I am in total agreement

Dodger Fan you the man, I bet those young ladies on the softball team will never forget what you did for them wtg.

and Hawaiin Brian I promise to do my part and enjoy a cigar after my sons baseball practice tonight and I will also hand out a cigar to any father on my bteam that wants to celebrate EARTH DAY THE SAME WAY I AM.......

peace out
Posted by aqualung on April 22, 2008 at 2:52 PM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
briandg, you made me laugh! No doubt, kids are c-r-u-e-l... But that's why there are always supposed to be ADULTS involved. Kids need guidance, which is the role of the adults.

With the caveat that adult supervision is a mandate - I agree w/ Zman about the trophy thing. When my son was young (5-6 yrs old) I thought it was okay that they didn't keep score and each kid got a trophy. Tee-ball was a joke anyway, and the point was more to have the kids have fun and maybe get an introduction to some of what baseball is about.

Then coach pitch baseball came, and things were a bit more competitive. This is like ages 7-8, IIRC, and we kept score. But I think every kid got a trophy for participation, tho the "champs" got special trophies for winning.

Then came the PONY League, Mustang division. First year of kids pitching. Games rigidly scored, and a pre-season, regular season, and playoffs. Winners got trophies. Losers went home early.

Then came the Bronco division PONY League ball. Emphasis was on playing winning team baseball - winning by playing as a team.

All in all, I was very pleased with how my son's youth baseball experience progressed. Especially since we won the championship. They even gave me a trophy as a "coach", just because I was there at every practice and every game, and helped the Coach and the Ass't Coach run drills and keep score during the games and stuff. That was cool....
Posted by cottygee on April 22, 2008 at 5:32 PM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
I hope our fearless leader is playing tag with some Latin American honey by now.
Posted by CharlesinCharge on April 22, 2008 at 6:35 PM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
The package has landed safe and sound.

Close to 100 degrees in the Central American tropic.

More cigars than you can shake Garfiend's stick at.

'Til Tomorrow,
Zman
Posted by Zman on April 22, 2008 at 6:59 PM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
It's not possible to link this issue to either the liberals or the conservatives. In the 1990s, because of the term's association with radical politics and communist censorship, it was used by the political right in the United States to discredit the Old and New Left. It was also a term used by the conservatives in the 60's to discredit communism and protect us from its ideas.
Liberals use it to keep from offending everybody, while conservatives use it to keep from being vulgar or profane to anybody. It's far to complex to put these two labels on groups of people, so all we can do is think about what we say before we say it, then believe in what we say, unless someone can show us that what we say has specific flaws in it. Example: I thought that Chinese occupation of Tibet was totally wrong until a Chinese friend of mine explained the racial and historic reasons for their control. There are over 50 different Chinese races and they don't all get along. Most conflict is about money, power, property or relations(women/sex).
I'm finding that I think I know way too much and really don't know a whole lot, sometimes. Good topic...
Posted by pjandma on April 22, 2008 at 7:05 PM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
Z, I don't want to shake Garfiend's stick at all.
Posted by hawaiian brian on April 22, 2008 at 8:03 PM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
Cotty, that all comes in my mind back to some sort of line in the incredibles that went something like when everybody's cool, nobody's special, or something like that.

Our kid came home with this huge freakin sheaf of awards from school once, crap like the most patient kid at the fountain, and could write her name in cursive.

Let people earn accolades, and give them what they deserve. Don't hand out crap that encourages mediocrity, because as a people, we can't afford it. Mediocre people in other countries pull weeds in rice paddies, and never in their lives got a framed award for tying their own sandals.
Posted by briandg on April 22, 2008 at 10:23 PM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
Amen my brothers, amen.

Good to see ya Brian :)
Posted by Jim on April 22, 2008 at 10:46 PM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
Hey, Jim. Nice to see you here.

I noticed something that is missing from these posts.

Not a single person has asked me yet what the booger tasted like.

I can't figure out if that's a sign of respect, or if there is a two week period of protection.
Posted by Briandg on April 23, 2008 at 10:00 AM

Re: The Ball’s in Our Court
I've been thinking again.

We used to take our aggressions out on the court or the playground, but it wasn't life-threatening. A black eye or a broken finger might be the worst that could happen. Z was right, getting knocked down helped us realize we could get back up.

Now kids who feel humiliated, show up at school with automatic weapons. Columbine High School and Virginia Tech University come to mind.

The paradox - The more soft we get, the more violent we are.
Posted by pjandma on April 23, 2008 at 12:47 PM

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